Sometimes You Forget Where The Heart Is -17- Ryan Key -17- What am I Fighting For?

Here she was, almost at the end. His room was the second last on the left. She hadn't seen him since she left him back at the school. She didn't want to remember it. It had been so painful at the time even if she had done her best to hide it. Sure, she'd told off the assholes that were beating up Ryan but when she'd actually gone to dial 911, her hands had shook and it had taken her twice as long as it should have. And then watching the ambulance take his unconscious body away to where he lays now was too much for her.
She left as soon as the sirens couldn't be heard any longer. She'd gone home where she'd cried for hours over the drama and shock of it all. When the sobs stopped, she felt dirty, lying in bed with day-old clothes and wet and dry tears everywhere.
9 Missed Calls, 4 Unread Text Messages, & 1 Unheard Voice-Mail notifications glared at her as water dripped off her hair onto the floor. Most of them were from Lee wondering what had happened to Kal and Sean and L.P. updating her on Ryan, hoping she was ok. They'd find out soon though if she was or not.
She watched them from outside his room. They were all so typical of themselves in those moments, almost.

L.P. sat in a chair as his eyes moved around the room constantly and his digits emanated separate beats. Beside him sat Lee, frowning fitfully as she stared at Ryan. Meanwhile, Sean paced gracefully in long strides at the end of the hospital bed. Ryan was the only one not looking quite his part, though he still managed to look good.

It was now, when Kal noticed him, that the others noticed her. They left quietly with sad smiles on their faces.

His left arm was in a sling, his were both sporting black-blue bruises with grotesque yellow-rimmed edges, and she knew from one of the texts she'd gotten that two of his ribs had been taped after being broken and almost puncturing his right lung. He was paler than usual and had little scratches on his face and arms. And this was just from what Kal could see of him!

"Kal? You're here?" Ryan asked, bleary-eyed from sleep.

"Yeah, hi." she sniffled.

"I'm not dying," he told her distraught face.

"I know, it's just sad to see you like this."

"It won't be for long, and you'll be strong, right? No more breaking down just at the sight of me," he comforted as best as he could.

"Good, I don't want you to cry either," he told her.

The look they shared in that moment was what hopeless romantics dream of. He was so enamoured with the carefree young woman and she was staring just as lovingly back at him.

"Here, come sit with me. Looking at you in that chair makes me feel helplessly hospitalized, God."

She laughed, making him do the same, as she crawled up into his arm. She only really remembered where they were when she saw him wince and then quickly recover. She must have hit something but she ignored it when he did.

Poking fun at him, she questioned, "Hopelessly hospitalized? Aside from the fact that you are, at least we know you still have your creativity."

"Yup, and…" he whispered, changing the mood immediately, "my love for you."

"Aww, you're so cheesy beneath the badass 'I'm going to take on three assholes and still expect to win' side of you."

He forced a laugh out but told her seriously that he hadn't wanted to fight them, that they had cornered him.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"It's all right," he said, squeezing her arm.

After a pregnant pause, he told her something life-changing, "I love you."

It was in that moment that she remembered all their moments together. As children on swings, going to lame school dances, their first kiss together, and saying good bye to him when he got on the tour bus. Then there were more recent times, like running into him and having him not recognize her –what a blow to the ego-, when he'd fought Ryan Mendez, or dedicated Empty Apartment to her and she had almost been hyperventilating. Now they would share this hospital together. How romantic.

"I love you too," she professed.

She then slowly trailed up his jaw, then across his cut-up cheek with her fingertip until her palm rested on the right side of his face. Then she did the same with her other hand, until she gripped tightly and pulled him in.

It was the most passionate, heart-felt kiss of her life.

His tongue swooped in and claimed her on, her common sense gave out but the rest of her senses soaked up every aspect of him, and she let herself go for those few minutes. She knew what she was about to do and wanted every bit of this while she could still grab it, take a hold of it and wrap her fingers in it, just like his silky blond hair.

But it did have to end, and minutes later it did. She backed off and got off of the bed when his hand started sliding up her shirt.

"Wait, where are you going Kally?" Confusion was mixed in with the over-whelming happiness of his voice.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for this yet, and I've just got to be sure. I can't risk being in love with you right now. I'm not ready, my soul's unsure.

"Just remember I love you, okay Ry? And this time, please, please keep my promise and remember me. Okay?"

His face was crumbling now, just like his heart. He sighed, a tear noticeably moving down his face as he did, and agreed.

"All right. I-I guess I can understand that. Whatever you wish, okay? I'll be waiting, and I'll be remembering," He let her walk away then but then thought better of it. "Hey, Kal, remember me actually. It sounds like you're going to be busy, so think of me every once in a while, okay? If you can't be here for me now, at least do that for me."

So maybe he was feeling a little bitter, but he had a right to be.

She nodded, crying now too, and barely managed to say, "I won't forget about you," before she walked out the door.

She ignored her friends who gathered around her when she left the room in tears. She didn't even notice Lee tell them to give her some space because she was too busy doing the exact thing she'd told Ryan she was sick of.