Spare a Thought for Me (.08)

"Alana? Go talk to her yourself. We're not together." Kevin answered.
A tiny piece of me did a cartwheel in my chest, but I ignored it. "What happened?" I asked, cueing my 'innocent eyes', the ones that assured the world that I knew nothing.
Kevin, however, saw straight through my ruse. He gave a chuckle. "You know exactly what happened." He answered, almost boredly. "Where'd you get the story? Claire? Michelle? Alana herself?"
"Craig."
"Craig knew?"
"Yeah."
"Kind of creepy."
"A bit."
We shared a beat of silence.
"So... it's true?" I asked. "You finally broke it off with Alana?" Damn it... I sounded too hopeful. Control yourself, Sara.
Kevin nodded. 'I think we both needed some space. Plus she needed a good fuck, which we both know I can't help her with." He said with a shrug. "Not really a big deal in my books."
"But Kevin... what if that's just the problem?" I began. "What if it is a big deal to Alana? What if she's hurt by the fact that you ended things? What if she wasn't playing the same game as you?"
"But... she was." Kevin answered bluntly.
I stood from my seat at my desk. "How do you know? What do you even know about Alana? What if she liked you a lot more than she ever let on, and now that you're gone, she's heartbroken?" I continued. "What if she's different than the rest of them?"
Kev opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.
"What if she's tired of being played by guys like you? Kevin, why are all girls just games to you?" The final question popped out before I had the chance to think. I surprised both of us, I think... Kevin's eyebrows rose a fraction of an inch as my hand flew over my mouth at the audacity of the statment.
"Say again?" Kevin asked, crossing his arms across his chest defensively.
Oh, shit.
"Why-" I gulped. "Why are all girls just games to you?" I repeated. "Why don't they get a little more respect?"
"Why don't men get any respect from you?" My roommate echoed back to me.
I snorted. "What men?" I asked. "Have you ever seen me do so much as kiss a guy?"
"Sorry babe... my eyes were closed. But I sure as hell felt it." Kevin answered with a smirk.
Damn, I'd forgotten about that. How, I'm not sure... but the Kevin- kiss had slipped my mind.
"So you've got once example of a guy... how did I not respect him?" I asked professionally.
"He came back from a tour early, fully intending to apologize to you and start again, when you told him to- let me get the phasing right -'get the fuck out' or something along those lines." Kevin replied.
"That was only because said guy came back and expected everything to stay exactly the same! He expected me to just go back to loving him, and I'd moved beyond that." I replied. "God, Kev... I know you're used to getting everything you wanted, but..." I trailed off, unable to finish the thought.
"But what?" Kevin asked.
"But you broke me." I finished. "And then you come back, just... expecting me to welcome you with open arms? No... sorry, but people like you deserve little place in my heart."
Kevin sighed. "I hadn't planned on coming back for the rest of the year, you know." He stated. "I'd planned on touring until May, and by that time there's really no point in returning." He added. "You know why I came back?"
"No... Where are you going with this, Jonas?"
"Tell me, 'Freese', why do you think I came back? Finish off my college education? Make you miserable? No... Sara. I came back when I heard from my parents that you were having issues on the cruise." He said.
"Great. Now you're here to be my protector." I snapped. "Well here's a newsflash, Kev. I don't need protecting. Especially not from the one person who knows how to break through every protection I make for myself."
Kevin stepped toward me. "You're still convinced that you were nothing serious to me?" He asked, edging around me so he stood between me and the window. "That would be your fundamental mistake. I came back because I didn't want to know that you were struggling from lack of Jonas in your life." He purred before beginning to advance toward me. "Because I care."
"What... what does that mean?" I stuttered as I realized that he was backing me towards the door.
"I don't seriously care for a lot of girls." Kevin replied. "Let me put it simply, Freese." He whispered as my back hit the door. Suddenly his face was but an inch away from mine, and I could no longer breath. There was that freckle right above his lip, standing out in sharp releif... and his eyelashes were long and thick... and the his perfect lips were moving once again, almost in slow motion. "You-" He was whispering directly into my neck now. "-were never a game."
I probably would have collapsed had Kevin not been pressed against me. I tried to speak, to respond in any way...
But I couldn't.
For one reason only.
I had almost blacked out the second his lips pressed against mine.
Because suddenly, nothing else did so much as exist in my happy little world. Only Kevin, and me... pressed against our shared dormroom's door.
It was almost as if time had stopped and backed up to a place where Kevin was far more welcome into my life. And I wasn't complaining.
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