"Well... uh... I'm, um, going to... go," Derek rushed out, his eyes wide at Alex and I on the couch. But, I knew him well enough to know that he was burning inside by the way his hands shook on the door and struggled to find the handle. I sighed and rubbed my face tiredly.
"Derek, I can explain," I tried lamely at the cliche line I'd heard a million times before when my own boyfriends cheated on me. Although, the difference was that I was on the opposite side of the plate for one of the first times in my life.
"Don't bother," he said angrily. "You're not my girlfriend anyway."
That stung. I flinched. Why did he have to be such a moody bitch? And why do I have to be so goddamn pathetic?
"But I wanted to be," I said quietly, picking at the chipped nail polish on my fingernails.
Derek paused and looked at me in what I knew was disgust. His eyes burned holes through my naked back and sent daggers into my chest. I tried to focus of my breathing again. Though I tried to close off all sound, I could still hear Derek's heavy inhales and exhales. I could feel the stiff tension of the guys accumulating in the air. I knew that, by now, Rian's protective brother side was kicking up a few notches -- or maybe the vodka got to him already and he was just staring in a stupor of drunkenness. What I wouldn't do to trade places with him, I thought with a roll of my eyes. I looked to my right and saw that Alex fucking Gaskarth was still sleeping soundly with a little smile on his face. Ugh, no wonder I never slept with him before. I sighed, going back to examining my chipped nail polish. I mentally prepared myself for the worst from Derek. I mean, what else could I expect? What else did I deserve?
"I don't date whores," Derek spat, sending me over the edge. And, apparently, Rian wasn't took drunk that he didn't hear that comment.
"Whoa, man, chill," Zack said, cautiously glancing at Rian as his anger built. I'm not sure Derek was aware of Ry's protective streak, or else he wouldn't be saying this in front of him. Believe me. "She's not a whore and don't ever fucking call her that."
Rian got up and stormed over to Derek. He loomed in front of him. "What did you just call my Delilah?"
Derek glared till he had slits for eyes and said, "I called her a whore."
"You better get the fuck out of our bus before I personally castrate you," Ry growled in a menacing tone.
"Gladly," Derek growled back as he once again reached for the handle of the door. But not, of course, before catching my eyes one more time. He didn't need words; he never needed any form of verbal communication. It was Derek's eyes that did the talking and I immediatley felt my own tear up. My breathing turned ragged.
"Derek, we said get the hell out," Jack commanded in a strong, angry voice that he rarely ever used. It always startled me a little because, well, Jack was never one to get mad at anything and everything (like Rian). So, when he got pissed off, you knew to shut up and walk away fast.
"And I was just about to apologize to you, Delilah. Almost." I heard the smirk in Derek's voice and the shameful shake of his head. He opened the door of the bus. He walked out, gave one final look, and slammed the door so hard that our little television shook and Alex finally woke up.
Alex's chocolate eyes opened up slowly at first, unfocused and blinking rapidly, until he saw my face. He smiled, but then when he saw my red, swollen eyes he frowned. I heard the boys 'quietly' file out as they probably felt the need to give us some privacy. I made a mental note to thank them for that (and everything else) later.
"Delilah," Alex whispered, turning to his side and bringing his hand to my face. He wiped away a few traces of my tears. "What's wrong, baby?" He paused, a slight smirk coming to his face. "Was I that horrible?"
I let out a tiny giggle like a school girl and smiled. "No, no. That isn't it."
"So, what is it then?"
I sighed and turned to my side. I ran a hand through my hair and pressed my naked body closer to his. I loved how warm he was. I loved how he was like my own personal heater. With one last sigh, I decided that I'd be truthful with the boy for now -- well, almost truthful.
"It was... it was Derek," I murmured, keeping eye contact with Alex. "He saw us. Like, five minutes ago. Naked. In bed. Together."
At the mention of his name, Alex's eyes immediatley hardened and went cold. His voice sounded dead as he said flatly, "What did that fucker say?"
"Alex, it doesn't matter, okay?" I tried to defuse him fast.
"So its that bad, huh?"
"No, baby," I rushed. It felt a little odd calling him 'baby'. It felt almost... out of place. "Please, its all okay. I'm alright."
Alex was getting aggravated now. His eyebrows creased in frustration. "Its not okay. You're crying, damn it! I hate seeing you cry."
I buried my face in his neck, memorizing the smell of him - peppermint and axe - and committing it to memory. I lightly smiled when I felt him let out a huge breath and gently stroke my hair. It felt serene, just me and him alone together like this. But, I couldn't shake the feeling that something felt really wrong. That I'd lied to Alex last night, telling him that I loved him when... well... I don't even know if I do. I can't even blame it on the fucking alcohol, thanks to the guys.
"I just... I just want you to be happy," Alex murmured into my hair, kissing it.
I looked up at him and smiled softly. "I am happy." I kissed him on the lips, feeling him smile into it.
And the whole time, my head was screaming:
Liar, liar, burn in hell!
well, it's been a long, slow collision.
I don't know if I like this one :/. It feels like this story is running around in circles, doesn't it?
thank youuu. <3
rate & message, please?
