Original Slash||The Contemplation Of Suicide||1

Just another fuck up.
Those 4 words tend to be what people describe me as.

Pathetic
Worthless
appathetic
insane
mentally unstable

They've all been said before. My doctor even told me that I depressed her.
Don't give up, Believe in something.
I have nothing to believe in anymore. God, doesn't exist. If he did, he wouldn't let me suffer in this hell that is life.
What is so wrong with me? Everything.
My dad used to beat me when I was little. I never told a soul. He was driving me home from school one day and we got hit head on my a semi. He died instantly.
I thought my problems were over. Not even close. I wish that were all that happens.
Mum blames me for Daddy's death, which kills me inside. She drinks, smokes, and anything that will take away her thought process.
The kids at school are relentless. They tease me, throw things at me, and even jump me. I don't talk to anyone. I've never done anything to anyone. I don't know why they treat me so horribly.
I just wish I had one friend to tell things too. Someone to share my problems, and feelings with. Someone that doesn't take one look at me and spit in my face.
Mt therepist says that this stupid fucking journal will help me. I highly doubt it. Last week she was raving that I was uncureable.
I wish I knew why people hate me so much...is it becuase I'm so nice to everyone? Is it because I dare to be a decent human being?
Suffication. No breathing. Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding.
♥