I feel like crying (Sami plz read)

    I miss you so much.I've only been away for a while.It feels like I've been away for ages.Alone on my knees I pray that God will bring me back to you.I need you.Without you I have no stregnth.Right now I'm completley weak.I can feel sadness in my eyes.I'm on the verge of tears.I just feel like crying.
    I'm not saying this isn't working.All I'm saying is I'm sad.I miss you too much.I need to feel you kissing me.But the oceans have blotted out my senses.I need your voice.Telling me to dry my tears.I feel greived for some reason.Maybe because I didn't tell you I would disappear for a while.It's harder to reach you now.My parents won't understand.
    At this point I don't know what to say.I guess I'm sick of writting it down.I want to tell you.I feel like I'm bleeding inside.Maybe if I see your face I'll be happy again.I feel like I'm hurting you.Because I didn't tell you what was going to happen.I feel so sorry.And I am sorry.That could be why I feel so guilty.I promise I'll make it up to you.Please forgive me.I throw myself at your mercy.
    I just feel like I've done something terrible to you.You have no idea of the guilt I feel.Plus I miss you too much.It's a bad mixture.All I feel like doing is crying.I feel so much pain.All I feel now is sadness.We need to talk,soon.I need you to hear me out.It's hard to hold my tears back now.I'm just so sorry.Even though I din't tell you about my circumstance.I feel like there's something else,like I hurt you badly.I will pray that you will find it in your heart to forgive me.And I pray that God will have mercy on me for whatever I did.And that he will make me happy again.My heart is aching and my head hurts.
    Even though I wrote this as the spur of the moment,my feelings will change.I need to tell you this in person.Because my written words can't express how I feel right now.My mind can run free on dependence of my own voice.This way I can cry.You might not see me,but you'll hear me.And you'll understand how sorry,sad and greived I am.
    I feel as though we're not in love anymore because I just feel horrible.I feel like I did something unforgivable to you.I feel like I've been abusing you somehow.I feel like I made you cry so bad that your tears got dry.Now it seems like we're mad at each other.Based on today I need to say I'm sorry for whatever evil things I've ever done to you.
    Right now I could care less if I cried.I will apologize to you a thousand times if I could make this right.I feel my heart bleeding.I'm fading away.I don't know what to do to save myself from drowning in my own blood.
    I can't say if I'm excited or deminished.I probably won't get much sleep tonight.I'll sit up thinking about you.I wish I could apologize to you right now.I can't think of anything else that will make things right.That's what happens when all you can do at the moment is greive and hope you can have enough pain in your heart to cry.
    You might be mad at me if you read this.If we meet your kiss for me might be bitter.I might not get a kiss at all.But I need to say that I love you beyond comprehension,thought,and feeling.No matter what you may think of me,I do.And this sounds like my dying wish because I feel so sad.
    I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way.I hope you can forgive me.Even if you don't love me anymore and you forgive me,I'll be Ok.This is three notebook pages of handwritten sorrow.If it makes you happy I'll disappear from you life forever.This is how I really feel.This is what happens when I feel like crying.