Leave me out with the waste; this is not what i'd do.
It's the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you.
It's the wrong time for somebody new.
It's a small crime and i've got no excuse.
Jak stared at Steve for a moment before turning her gaze to Brian, whose eyes were locked on her naked body. Most of her was hidden behind the door but from the little he could see he liked. And Jak knew it.
"Maybe you should get him one of those railings for his bunk." She commented with a laugh, ignoring Brian's stare.
"I think you're right..." Stefan agreed as he helped his friend up off the floor.
"Shut up..." Steve said grumpily when his head registered the pain from the four foot fall.
"Does he fall out of his bunk alot?" Jak asked, completely ignoring him, only imagining how much that could've hurt.
"Quite often, really." Brian answered. "At least two or three times a week, I guess."
Jak shook off a laugh and slipped back into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She crawled back into the shower and turned the nozzle to the left until the water flowing over her skin was a decent temperature.
The heroin in her system was finally making it's way to her brain and she could feel the effects sink in as she closed her eyes and hugged herself tightly.
She tilted her face into the streaming water of the shower and let it cascade down her chest as the thoughts in her head rushed through her like a cold breeze on a sunny day.
If her friends knew about her filthy habits they would surely turn their backs on her and forget about her existence. She knew that's exactly what would happen so she couldn't let it come to that.
It wasn't like they were the world to her, herion played that role in her life, but they were all she really had left besides her measly jobs and music. Jak had finally come to realise this aspect of her reality.
She had made this out of herself. She never strived for college, let alone bother to finish highschool. She never got herself a real, full time job and the little ones she had didn't even last long enough to consider part time.
Is this really what I want for myself? she asked her conscience, hoping the little angel on her shoulder would just murder that stupid devil already. It's not like he was doing her much good anyways.
As the drug kicked in she felt her legs weaken as she slowly leaned back against the wall and let herself fall to the floor of the shower. The water continuted to crash down on her, though it now felt like a tidal wave against her skin.
The things she used to find relaxing were exactly the opposite now. When she was high everything seemed to hostile and harsh to her. Breathing felt more like suffocation, eating felt more like choking, sleeping felt more like dying.
Someone bursting into the bathroom broke her from her thoughts as she struggled to stand up as fast as she could. She turned the knob until the water eventually stopped and she opened the door slighty to see what the hell was going on.
"Sorry," Stefan said over his shoulder as he stood over the toilet. "I couldn't wait."
"How the fuck did you get in?" she asked in annoyance. "I locked the fucking door!"
"I used a knife to unlock it." He explained as he quickly pulled up his pants and flushed the toilet.
"Well, next time please knock first so you don't give me a fucking heart attack."
Jak rolled her eyes and shut the door to the shower again, waiting for him to finish. She heard water running from the sink before Stefan finally walked out the door.
She let out a long sigh before stepping out of the shower and wrapping herself in a big red towel from the small cupboard. She wiped the steam off the mirror with her hand and looked at herself in the mirror.
What have I become?
Leave me out with the waste; this is not what i'd do.
It's the wrong kind of place to be cheating on you.
It's the wrong time; she's pulling me through.
It's a small crime and i've got no excuse.
And now my feet don't touch the ground.
I was hanging from a tree,
unaccustomed to such violence.
Jesus looking down on me,
i'm prepared for one big silence
How'd I ever end up here?
Must be through some lack of kindness.
And it seemed to dawn on me,
haemoglobin is the key.
Haemoglobin is the key to a healthy heartbeat.
