The Perilous Journey of the Fab Beatle Kids (Zak) Prologue

The year is 1994...you're currently 31 years old...
So, you have recently decided that you want to join the band Oasis their drummer because of your love for music and the fact that they really desperately need a drummer. But, you're not sure whether you should or not, so you go to ask George Harrison if he thinks you should. You walk into his house without knocking and walk straight by Eric Clapton, who is contemplating something in George's hallway. Eric's always there, so you don't think anything of it. You enter George's room and say, "Hey, Ucle George." (I really don't see why Zak shouldn't call George "uncle" if Dhani calls Ringo "uncle")
George looks up at you and says "Hi-de-ho, Zak-ee-oh."
You ignore this strange greeting and say cautiously, "What do you think of the band Oasis?"
You can tell from the expression on George's face what he is going to say before he even says it, "OASIS????? THEY SUCK!!!! They just wish they were The Beatles, but it's too late...I AM THE BEATLES!!!!!!!!!!"
You give him an odd look and, after a moment's thought, decide to ignore that he just said he was more than one person. "Um...okay...that's all I wanted to know," you answer, and turn around to leave.
"WAIT!!!!!!!" George yells at you. He calls you because....You're not sure. And honestly, you're not sure if you care. You now have a predicament, so you walk away, back into the hallway, leaving little not-yet-sickly and cancerous George behind.
Not surprisingly, Eric is still sitting in the hall. The surprising thing is, he actually talks to you, which he doesn't normally do when he's thinking about something. He looks up at you and asks, "How does a little kid ACCIDENTALLY fall from a 53rd story window???"
You feel bad for the guy because that's how his son died, but you have no clue why he's thinking about Conor randomly. And he doesn't seem too sad, just kind of confused like any normal person would be about that. It's one of the great mysteries of the world. So, you simply answer, "I don't rightly know, sir."
He looks at you like you're crazy and says, "What, are you a little boy in the early 1800s?"
You think about what you just said and answer, "Possibly."
"You look troubled, laddie," Eric answers, thinking he's from Irland for a minute.
"Well..." you reply, "I was going to join Oasis, but George talked me out of it...yelled me out of it, really...and I want to join a band, but I don't know what to do."
"You know what I do when I'm confused?" you shake your head, "I eat my green vegitables and be a friend o make a friend."
You look shocked and say, "REALLY????"
"Are you REALLY that gullible? NO!" Eric shakes his head at you in exaspiration and continues, "Seriously? You need help?"
You nod at him, dumbfounded. This was the most you'd ever heard Eric talk and, until this moment, hadn't realized that he was this...well...you actually couldn't think of a word to describe it.
He nods, thinking about your predicament, and, suddenly, comes up with something. You know he came up with something because the lights in the hallway had been off and the one above his head suddenly turned on. He says to you, "I know someone that can help! His name is..."
Billy Joel, because he's scary like that!
David Bowie because he's...creepy...
Billy Bob Thorton...enough said
The Hoff (yes, THE HOFF)
"Ginger!" he says. Or rather, Gingre, since he's British. "Gingre Baker can help! He knows everything!"
"Okay, I'll go find him," you respond, and begin to walk away.
"Honestly, Zak, how stupid are you?" Eric asks, shaking his head at you, exaspirated. "I'll contact him...jeez..." He closes his eyes for a while, putting his hand on your shoulder. "Okay, I have connection," Eric says suddenly, "Go ahead and explain what\'s going on."
You begin to tell your story, "Well, I wanted to join the band Oa--"
"NOT THAT WAY!!!!" Eric cuts you off, "Use your mind!!!!!"
You frown at Eric in all his strange-ness and THINK your story to Ginger (because I'M American). It startles you when you suddenly hear Ginger's voice in your head, saying, "Well...let's see... The problem is that George thinks Oasis is Beatle wannabes...which it is. JOIN THE WHO!!!!!"
This doesn't seem like a horrible idea, so you shrug and head off to audition for The Who. Eric sits back down and starts contemplating something new.
You, meanwhile, head out to meet with The Who to audition for the band. However, when you get there, someone's already auditioning...
OH, NO!!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!!!!
*sigh* when does Freddie Mercury come into this?
...isn't Ginger a girl's name? (yes, yes it is...that's why I like it so much XD)


Find out what your auditioning fate is on the next installment of the Perilous Journey of the Fab Beatle Kids!!!!!!
Pictures of Zak being awesome in sunglasses and Zak as a young chappie with Keith Moon.