We stepped onto the threshold of Lana's party and it was exactly what I expected it to be. Hip-hop beats pumping through the massive sound system. What looked like hundreds, of gyrating bodies on the huge dance floor. Strobe lights, to set the scene. It was a typical twenty-first century sweet sixteen. There was even a little stage in the center, where the DJ was in the left corner.
It was a matter of seconds before I was ripped off Sergio's arm and tackled into a hug. Lana's unmistakable squeals in my ear. I wobbled, trying to regain my balance.
"Roxy, you made it!"
I turned to survey Lana. She was in a sparkly blue dress that accentuated her eyes. She was as tall as me, which brought my attention to her feet. She was wearing four-inch stilettos. All in all, she looked good.
Alexa stood to her side, not wanting to take up Lana's moment.
Lana was apparently sizing me up too because her eyes landed on my gift and she snatched it from me.
"Oh my god, what'd ya' get me?!"
She took it and shook it, holding it to her ear. Then, another squeal. I clasped my hands over my ears.
"You got me a purse.", she shook the bag again. "An expensive purse."
I just narrowed my eyes at her, jabbing my index finger into her barely their stomach. "I'll figure out how you do that someday."
Lana just stuck her tongue out at me and shook her head. "No you won't.", she teased in a singsong voice.
Lana shoved her present into Alexa's arms and pointed to some table off in the distance. No doubt, the one holding the hundreds of presents she would receive today. Alexa huffed, but complied anyways.
Before I could even blink Lana had me in a death grip. I tossed Sergio an apologetic look behind me, mouthing sorry. He just smirked at me and shooed me away...not that I had a choice.
I forget how strong this girl is.
She was practically dragging me through the crowd up to the stage. She made her way up the steps as I tried to keep up. Upon reaching the stage, the DJ cut the music and she released me. Everyone turned to look at us as Lana stepped up to the mic.
"Hey guys, well now that someone", cue glare at me, "has decided to make it. The party can officially commence! Have a great time everyone, thanks for coming."
The room burst out into cheers and the music was once again pulsating through the speakers. Lana was dragging me off the stage as quickly as she had dragged me out there. And I got to relive the terrific torture of being squeezed through a crowd of sweaty, hormonal teenagers.
Just lovely.
"Lana!", an annoying voice screeched.
The girl motioned to hug Lana as she stepped forward. They broke into conversation in the middle of the dance floor. Seeing how Lana was currently occupied, I used the chance to slip away unnoticed. Which went well, until I had an elbow in my side.
Um, oww.
I squeezed out of the sea of dancing bodies and into the sitting area. I smoothed back my hair and my dress as I looked around. I hadn't seen Sergio at all since Lana dragged me away.
I turned to leave when an all to familiar voice called my name. My heartbeat quickened and my palms started to sweat so bad, I had to rub them on my dress. I turned around and my heart almost stopped. He looked amazing. I couldn't help but want to beat the voice in my head screaming ‘what about Sergio- your boyfriend’, the one making me feel that pang of guilt.
What I haven't done anything wrong. Talking isn't a crime.
Neither are inappropriate thoughts, it's what they lead to that becomes a crime.
Not now, just not now.
"Well don't you look beautiful."
"Um thanks?", I said unsure. My eyes were glued to the floor. All I saw was his shiny black shoes showing my reflection in them.
I wonder how he gets them so shiny?
"Roxy?"
"Yes?", I asked without even looking up.
"Why won't you look at me?", he questioned.
I shrugged my shoulders feeling ridiculous. Head down, slouching shoulders and all. "I don't know."
My answer was honest, I didn't know why I was acting this way. I would never normally act this way. Or maybe it's the fact this situation is a little intimidating. I'm all alone with a guy who can make any nun forget the name of god. But then again, I'm not like most girls. I just don't like being in compromising positions. I tend to mess up more then on occasiona.
"Look at me."
"Nah, I'm good. Did you know your shoes are shiny?"
He chuckled and I had to look up.
Damn you curiosity! Damn you to Hell!
"See that isn't so hard, is it?"
Nope, and neither is catching a chicken jacked up on red bull.
"Not at all. So, did you need something?"
Tyler gave me a strange look. "What I can't talk to my pretend girlfriend now?", he feigned hurt.
I punched him playfully in the arm, "Loser."
Realizing what I was doing I pulled my arm back. It only gained me another inquisitive look from Tyler.
"Stiff arm.", I laughed nervously.
He just shrugged and led me over to a table. We sat down opposite to each other. From an onlooker we might look like a couple. Me looking at him, him staring at me, his hand on mine-
Hand on mine?!
I looked down and quickly tugged my hand away.
"What are you doing?", I whispered.
"Oh come on Roxy."
I furrowed my eyebrows together.
He sighed, "You can't honestly expect me to believe you...like this guy, can you?"
"I don't expect you to believe anything.", I replied just as harsh. "But I do. And if you don't like it or accept it, whatever the case may be. Well, that's your problem."
I moved to get up, but he grabbed my arm.
"Wait!"
I turned my head back to him, "What is it?"
He took my hand in his and started stroking it. He looked straight into my eyes and brought my hand to his lips.
"You really are beautiful, you know that?"
"I-I think I should go now." I tried to sound assertive, but it came out shaky.
He just brought my hand back to his lips and started kissing up my arm. I came to my senses and pulled away fiercely. I got up from the table and almost knocked over my seat. He ran in front of me, blocking my path with every step I took.
"Leave me alone.", I commanded. My voice was hard, my fists balled at my sides.
"No, not until you answer this."
"What!", I barked, desperate to get this over with.
It all seemed like a blur. One minute I was yelling at him, the next I was wrapped up against him as he kissed me. My eyes widened and I went to push him off, but he stepped away.
"Do you love me?"
I wanted to tell him no, but my mouth was quivering. Not out of fear, but shock. I brought my fingers to my lips and shook my head no. He was about to say something back, but he was spun around and punched in the face.
I screamed out of reflex and saw Sergio beating his face in.
"Do you just like to hit on people's girls? Think you can go around kissing them? Huh?!"
Sergio just brought his fist back and continued to pummel Tyler. I ran to him trying to pry him off him.
"Stop! You'll kill him!", I cried in hysterics.
Sergio flashed me a dangerous look that told me to back off, but he stopped. He left Tyler limp on the floor. Tyler spurted out blood before turning on his side in pain. You could see the purple welts already forming, the shiner around his left eye, and his nose that looked like it was broken, twisted awkwardly.
Sergio came around to my side, pulling an arm protectively around me. We had gained an audience during his rage. His cool demeanor didn't last long until he turned on me.
He dropped his arm and stepped away from me, like I disgusted him.
"H-how could you?", he stuttered. His voice got stronger. By now the music had stopped playing, the whole place was silent. "How could you pull this shit Rox?! Look what you made me do.", he pointed to Tyler. Alexa was helping him up, along with security.
I didn’t do it.
"Why Rox? Why?", he whispered. His eyes glued to the floor.
I bit my lip to hold back the tears.
"I can't even look at you."
That was it. That did it. The dam was broken, let all Hell break loose in the form of running mascara. I sniffled and let out one of those high pitched whistles. The ones you get before you break down in tears. The last motion before giving in.
"I-I"
"Rox, don't speak. Just don't. I'm going back home. Find another ride."
With that he walked away. Tears blurred my vision and I stumbled over to him. I grabbed hold of his arm. He turned around.
"Please, Sergio you don't understand. I didn't-"
"Just give me some time Rox! Ok?"
I could feel the tears running down my cheeks, and I could envision the mascara bleeding black. I looked down and nodded. He shook his arm and I released. Me, along with everyone else, watched him walk out the doors. I pulled a hand to my mouth to hold in the wails threatening to escape. I heard the muffled cries through my hand. I felt like dieing on the spot.
I felt a hand on my arm and looked to my left. It was Lana. She gave me an apathetic look and I fell into her.
I balled my eyes out, "He hates me, he hates me."
She hushed me, "No he doesn't."
"Yes, he does.", I slurred.
She just stroked my back and told me everything would be alright. But I knew in my heart, it wasn't. Nothing would be the same again.
Lana turned around, everyone was still staring.
"Go back to the party. Shoo! There's nothing to see here!"
Everyone listened, but you could feel the room had taken on another mood. The atmosphere was more tense. You could feel the pressure, or maybe it was just my pounding headache.
Lana guided me up the steps. There was nothing up there but old sound equipment. We sat on a wooden crate. She sat next to me and sighed. I just hiccupped and choked on my sobs.
"How could you do that to him Roxy?", Lana asked me sadly.
I didn't do it.
"I didn't kiss him, he kissed me!", I defended.
"Weren't you the one who said it was cheating either way?"
"I. Don't know.", I hiccupped. "It just-happened so quickly. I was telling him no. I told him no Lana. I told him no.", I whispered.
She grabbed me in a side hug and I fell into her lap as she stroked my hair.
"He was looking for you. I was standing right there Roxy. It didn't look pretty from where we were standing."
"I yelled at him. I screamed, I ran away, but he wouldn't let me leave. Didn't you see?", I asked, desperation clear in my voice.
"Sorry Roxy.", Lana frowned.
"I'm not perfect. I screw up too. He hasn't exactly been a saint either. And I promised myself that if I ever fell into this...stupid emotion, that I wouldn't take him back. But I did, because-because I fucken love him, alright? And if he can't do the same well, I don't know."
I sat up as Lana stared down, clacking her shoes together.
"What am I going to do Lana?"
She turned to me. She smoothed out my hair and tucked a few strays behind my ear. Wiping away the remaining droplets near my eyes with her thumbs. "You're going to pull yourself together, wait until you get home and cry your eyes out. Call me when you're ready and wait for Monday. Then when you've thought out what you're going to say, you're going to confront him. He'll apologize for not believing you and you'll be fine. He loves you, he really does. You can see it, the way he looks at you."
I rubbed my eyes, "It's never going to be the same again. I just know it Lana."
She frowned, "You'll just have to wait and see. Don't worry yourself sick. Things will work out."
I nodded, even though I didn't believe a word. I appreciated the pep talk though.
How am I going to get home?
"Lana."
"Hmm?"
"How am I going to get home?"
"I can't take you home Roxy. I can't leave two hundred and something people here. I'm sorry."
I stood up, "It's okay. But can I get a quarter."
She looked at me weirdly. "Why?"
"Payphone. I'm going to have to call home."
Lana dug through her small purse and pulled out two quarters. She handed them to me and told me where the nearest phone was. Unfortunately, that happened to be outside. Now it was cold and I didn't even have so much as a light sweater.
I rubbed my arms as I dialed and saw my cool smoky breath in front of me.
The phone rang and with each ring I prayed that no one would answer, and simultaneously that someone would. My mother picked up on the fourth ring.
"Hello?"
"Mom?", I breathed.
"Roxy?" I heard footsteps in the distance and a door opening. "Roxy where are you?! Why aren't you in bed? You're grounded remember-"
"Mom, please. Just pick me up.", my voice broke.
"Where are you?"
I swallowed hard, "Lana's party."
"I'll be there in ten."
"Thank you mom."
There was no response, only the soft sound of a click as she hung up. I did the same and hugged myself. I walked back to the party and sat on a bench outside the entrance. I heard a door shut behind me. Lana sat next to me.
"She coming?"
I nodded my head.
"She mad?"
I just shrugged.
Lana leant over and hugged me, I held her tight. I wanted someone to hold onto as I was going down with my own ship. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but I heard a honk and we pulled apart.
My mother's headlines shone in the dark. Beams of light standing alone in the darkness.
"Take care.", Lana whispered in my ear as I slipped out of her grip.
I nodded at her, "You too."
I walked to the car and opened the door. I sat silently in the passenger’s seat and didn't look back as she drove away.
"So, are you going to tell me what happened?", she asked cautiously.
I shook my head. "No.", I whispered. A tear escaped my eye and I furiously rubbed it away.
My mother didn't push any further. We rode in silence, all the way home. I went up to my room, not even bothering to strip my dress. I was exhausted, and I wanted to escape. My head hurt like fuck and I was too tired to care about anything.
"Lana never lies.", I mumbled to myself before slipping off into the darkness behind my eye lids.
