[Gerard] Xx | Oh My Agony | xX [Way] {One-Shot}

We had known each other since we were little kids. We were best friends. I was pretty sure I was the only close friend that was a girl that he had ever had. Now he had tons of girls who would die to be his friend, and probably even his lover. I would never forget the day we met. Back then, I was one of the only girls that he had, even who knew he existed. Now, everything was different.
I lay there, thinking about the first day we had met. That day long ago that until recently, I had thought was the best day of my life. Maybe it was the worst.
April 9th, 1984
Bellville, New Jersey
"One thing I better not catch any of you doing when we are doing this project is throwing things at each other. If I see any flinging of paint, throwing of clay, or anything else, such as scribbling on the walls or desks, you can forget about doing this and we can just practice something else, such as Math. I'm sure you don't want to do that." said Mr. Orgello, the first grade teacher whom I knew, even back then, when I was seven, had more than teaching for a job.
He was as Italian as almost anyone could get. My own uncle was less Italian than he was. Mr. Orgello was tan, chubby, bald, and even when we were in school, was dressed like he was doing a drug dealing. When I used to go to the deli with my Dad, I would see him smoking his cigar on his front porch, reading the newspaper. I was sure that he was in the mafia. My Dad also let slip to my Mom that he thought he had threatened to kill the Superintendent if he didn't let him teach in the school.
This man also had an extremely bad temper. When I say bad, I mean bad. He didn't care if he was in school, or if there were tons of little first graders around him. If he got a call during class and that he had lost some stock, he would throw his stapler across the room. If anyone dared to back talk him, he would get so red in the face as he yelled to the top of his lungs, and spit would shower all over the unlucky person that he was screaming at.

I was almost certain that he was going to have a heart attack one day during class.
So when Mr. Orgello said "No scribbling on the walls", there would be absolutely no scribbling on the walls.
Still, there were these three boys who would always do things to make him mad. Donny, James, and John. They were way beyond their years, but not in an academic way. They were stupid, even though the first grade work wasn't all that hard. However, when it come to diabolical planning, these boys were really smart. They would always plot ways to make trouble in the class, just to make things more interesting. They really liked seeing Mr. Orgello get mad. Either that, or they wanted to bother someone that they just hated so much. Their targets were usually the kids who didn't have any friends, had a handicap, whether it was physical or mental, or just someone that they felt was a target.
So these boys would wait until the teacher was preoccupied by the many matters that he always had, and then they would go and do something that he would yell about when he got back. They were a personification of the old expression When the cat is away, the mouse will play. Then they wouldn't speak up about it, and no one would tattle on them because they knew that they would get their lives made into a living hell by the three boys.
They had gotten me a few times. They had, on the first day of kindergarten, put a fake rat in my snack, and on the same day had squirted mayonnaise all over my seat, and me, not looking before I sat, sat right on it. All because I was wearing a black and red, when all the other little girls were in stupid pink dresses with ruffles on them, or some dumb florescent color that could blind you in the light.
"This is creative art time!" announced Mr. Orgello when he had stopped telling us what we had 'better not' do. "So I expect you to do something creative. And I had also better not catch anyone here copying anyone else. Do your own work!"
The teacher then said "I have to make an important phone call.", and left the room.
I had no idea what I was going to be doing, but I headed up to the supply table like everyone else. I stepped back, though, because I wanted to let people who knew what they were doing pass by me. I kind of just stood behind people.
I did make it towards the front of the table, however, and John had grabbed a handful of crayons.
"Get the paint!" he said to James as he walked away.
"Move, loser!" exclaimed Donny, shoving a boy out of the way, causing the paper that he was about to take to fall over the floor.
"Now look what you did, you clumsy, fat loser!" Donny yelled at the boy.
"Pick it up!" ordered James.
The boy that Donny had shoved over gave the boys a nervous, somewhat mad look, and bent down and did as he was told.
Donny and James cackled, as did John from his seat.
I watched the boy, who was so helpless, and I was going to help him, but then I realized that the three assholes would yell at me.
The boy they had pushed, though, I felt so bad for, I wanted to help him. He was just as alone as I was, and was probably sick of being picked on, too.
"Gerard Way...Is Gay!" yelled James, laughing at his own joke, along with his posse of ignorant friends.
Back then, I didn't know what "gay" meant. I knew it was mean though, and they were calling the boy, that I secretly had a crush on, this name, and I wanted to throw something at them.
Gerard gave them a look and put the paper on the table and grabbed a piece and went back to his desk with his head held low, as the kids all laughed at him.
I just grabbed a bunch of random materials from the table and sat down.
I felt so bad for Gerard that I couldn't concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing. Plus, I had no idea what I would be doing. I just sat there and thought about Gerard.
Gerard had black hair, amazing eyes, and was a little chubby, but was still gorgeous. He had no friends, but neither did I. We were both always alone. I never went up to him and talked to him for that reason, and I never expected him to come up to me, either.
I wanted him to, though. So bad.
I looked back to Gerard's desk. He was huddled over, almost as if he was nervous, and was sketching something in pencil on the paper that he had taken from the supply table.
I knew, even back then, that Gerard could draw really well. That was one of the things I also admired about him. He was so mysterious, artsy, and just so... Perfect.
I snapped out of my thoughts. Donny, James, and John had somehow managed to put a bunch of paint in a bucket and started walking towards the back of the room towards the sink where we would get cleaned up. I had an excuse to look at Gerard, because his desk was lined up diagonally in front of the sink.
Gerard just barely looked up from his paper, he might have sensed that people were headed in his direction, but he ignored them.
James then made a pathetic attempt to make it look like he had tripped. I wasn't sure if anyone believed it, but while he did it, the paint "accidently" came flying out of the bucket, all over Gerard and his artwork.
Gerard stood up with surprise. He was all full of red paint and so was whatever he was working on.
Instead of pretending to be sorry, the boys laughed their asses off.
I knew Gerard was about to cry, but at that moment, Mr. Orgello came in, red in the face, he was obviously mad about something that previously happened, perhaps something he was told on the phone.
When he saw Gerard all full of paint, and the fact that it was all over the floor, his face turned redder than possible, and I saw a vein pop out on his head.
"WHAT HAPPENED?" he screamed so loud, a kid started to cry.
"I tripped, Mr. Orgello! I am really sorry!" said James.
Mr. Orgello still looked really angry, although when he heard the words tripped and sorry, he seemed to ease up a little.
"Very well." he said, still looking a bit mad. "Well, I just proved myself right. I knew that none of you would be able to handle something like this, so we aren't going to do it anymore. Everyone, put all the supplies away, and James, clean up this mess."
"Okay." said James, a bit shocked that the teacher had not screamed or thrown something.
"Oh yeah, and um...Gerard..." said Mr. Orgello, as if it wasn't a big deal that he was covered paint, "You better get cleaned up. The sinks in the boys' bathrooms are out of order, so you will have to go into the girls' bathroom to get cleaned up. You are not doing it in here, because there is a rug beneath the sink. I better not catch any of you ever washing paint off yourself over there, you hear me?"
Donny, James, and John were just laughing under their breath when they heard that Gerard would have to go into the girls' bathroom. I felt so incredibly bad for him.
"One of you girls will have to escort Mr. Way to the bathroom." said Mr. Orgello, almost carelessly. "Let's see...Haley Angelli, you do it."
My heart stopped. That was me. Gerard Way, the boy that I loved, was more than likely going to be forced to walk with me, and maybe even talk to me.
I stood up and Gerard looked at me.
"Well go on, you two." said Mr. Orgello.
Gerard walked next to me and we started walking to the bathroom.
As I was walking, I wanted so bad to talk to him. I also felt really bad, because I would have bet any amount of money that if it were one of the richer, more "popular" students, the teacher would have shown his trademark temper. Since it was "only" Gerard, the man really didn't care. That's why he sent me with him.
We reached the bathroom and walked in. I stood by the door as he went over to the huge sink in the middle of the room. He looked back at me, as if to ask if I could help him, but I was afraid to ask.
Gerard looked back, turned on the water and he started to take a bunch of paper towels to clean himself off.
He then mumbled something when all the paint was off.
"What?" I asked.
"What am I supposed to do about my clothes?" he asked, looking down at his shirt and pants, which were still covered paint.
"I don't know." I said.
He looked at me through the mirror and turned around.
"Come to the nurse with me so I can ask." he mumbled again.
We went to the nurse's office and I waited with him until his mother arrived with clean clothes for him.
After she left, Gerard went in the bathroom and changed, and without a word, we went back to the classroom, where everyone was now working out of workbooks.
In about ten minutes, it was time for lunch, and as usual, I sat at the table by myself, not eating anything. My Mom had packed a lunch for me, but I never ate it. I would always throw it out. I hated eating in front of people. I was afraid of people judging me by what I ate. I was pretty sure it was an undiagnosed condition.
"Gerard Way is not only gay, he is a girl!", I could hear Donny taunting Gerard from across the cafeteria.
I looked at Gerard, who was sitting all by himself and was just sitting there, too. He wasn't eating. He was probably still recovering from what had happened before.
Donny, James and John were now sitting around him, throwing names at him, and picking at his hair. Gerard soon couldn't take it and got up from the table and walked away from them.
"Awww! Is wittle Gaward sad? Did we hurt his fweelings?" James said in a stupid voice.
Gerard just ignored them and was about to walk out of the lunch room, but a lunch aide wouldn't let him, and the three boys hadn't moved from the table they were at, and so Gerard was kind of stuck.
I looked away, because he didn't need me staring at him. I just looked at the table until I was pulled out of my thoughts.
"Can I sit with you?" a timid voice asked me.
I looked up to see Gerard standing there. I was so shocked, but yet I was willing to let him sit with me.
"Sure." I said, trying to sound welcoming, without giving away the fact that I was totally excited about it.
Gerard sat across from me and just looked down at the table.
"I hate them." he said suddenly.
I looked up at him.
"I hate them so much." he continued. "They are going to tell everyone I am gay because I went in the girls bathroom."
"Um...what's 'gay'?" I asked.
"It means I like boys." said Gerard.
I didn't see what the problem was. I liked boys. I knew a lot of people who liked boys.
"Them three boys are gay then, too." I said. "They like each other."
"It's not that kind of 'like'. It means that you like boys more than a friend. Even if you are a boy."
I was starting to understand. There were these two men who lived together downstairs from me, and they weren't brothers or anything. My parents never came out and told me they were married, but I had seen them hold hands before. I also remembered them talking to my Dad about them thinking about moving, because they were afraid someone would burn their apartment, which would effect us, because we lived above them.
I then realized that being gay wasn't a good thing.
"Well...Are you gay, Gerard?" I asked.
Gerard looked me in the eye.
"No." he said, and he sounded sure about it.
That was all I needed to know.
We sat there in silence for awhile, until I noticed the watch he had on.
"I like your watch." I said.
Gerard looked at it with a small smile.
"Thank you. My Mommy got it for me. It's my birthday." he said plainly.
Right then, I felt even more sorry for him. It was this kid's birthday, and he was being harassed by a bunch of jerks who didn't even know him.
"Happy birthday." I said.
"Thank you."
I looked in my lunch box and pulled out cupcake that my Mom had packed and gave it to him.
Gerard's face lit up as he took it.
"Thank you so much!" he said, sounding ten times happier.
From that day on we were best friends. Evrey day after that, Gerard and I were inseparable at school. The next day, Gerard came right up to me as if he had known me for years, and just started talking to me about his little brother, Mikey.
The boys still teased him, saying that he was gay, because his new best friend was a girl, but Gerard didn't seem to care. He came over my house all the time, and when we weren't there, we went over his house.
I still had a painfully strong crush on him, and it didn't go away.
Ten Years and Three Months Later
It was officially the most happiest day of my whole life. It was a Saturday, and Gerard and I were bored, but Gerard had just made a promise to me on the steps of Belleville Highschool, and I would never forget it.
We still had no idea what to do after that, though.
"We should just go to the comic store." said Gerard.
"We were just there. They aren't going to have any new Doom Patrol issues until next week. Plus, it is like, twenty minutes away, and my Mom isn't letting me drive." I said.
"True. Well that is just bull-shit. It wasn't us who trashed Mr. Orgello's car. Sure, he had it in for us when we were kids, but we wouldn't just waste a day going back to the elementary school just to throw some shit at his car."

"I know. She doesn't believe me though. We were just at the wrong place at the wrong time, that's all. That man just has to retire."
"I know." said Gerard, laughing slightly.
"What's so funny?" I asked.
Gerard stood up.
"I had better not catch you, Mr. Way and Ms. Angelli, making-out in front of Belleville Highschool!" said Gee, in a mocking tone of how Mr. Orgello said his favorite phrase, "I had better not catch you..."
I started laughing so hard, it almost killed me.
"Does he still say that?" I asked.
"I have no clue. He still said it a few years after we left. Mikey told me." said Gerard, sitting back down.
I laughed again.
We just sat there for a few minutes and then Gerard stood up.
"I know." he said. "Let's go see Nightmare Before Christmas. It's playing in town again."
"Okay. I said, standing up.
"I'll pay for you, I have some money." said Gerard, reaching into his pocket to get money.
"Gerard." I said all of a sudden.
"Yes?" he asked, stopping to look at me.
"Why did you say we would be making-out just now? We aren't dating or anything."
Gerard just shrugged after turning a bit red in the face.
"I don't know." he said. "We are always together so I assume people might think we are going-out."
"But Gee, I don't mean to be rude, but...People still think you're..." I stopped.
I didn't want to say it.
"Gay?" Gerard finished for me. "I know. That isn't going to change. That could be why I haven't ever kissed a girl, or anyone for that matter. Boy or girl. I don't want to kiss a boy, though."
"Well I have never kissed anyone either." I pointed out.
"Wow. We are pathetic, aren't we?" laughed Gerard. "We are going off to college this year, and we still haven't gotten kissed yet. No one loves us. We love each other, that's about it."
What he said made me turn pale. He had just said that we loved each other. I had always known I loved him, but each other meant that he loved me back.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah." I said.
Gerard was looking at me deeply. Before I knew it, he was hugging me.
"I'll kiss you if you want." he said. "We can be each other's first kiss, even if we aren't dating. Plus, it can seal our promise we just made to each other. "
"Okay." I said weakly.
Gerard leaned in slowly and touched his soft lips to mine, I wasn't sure if it was because he didn't know what to do, but he just held his lips there for a few seconds, and then after a few more seconds he started kissing me full on the lips.
The kiss lasted about thirty seconds and when we stopped, I had to smile. Gerard did, too.
"Now we can't say we've never gotten kissed before." he said.
"Yeah." I replied.
Gerard smiled and we headed off the school steps towards the movies.
September, 2005
New York, New York
"So he is a big shot now, huh? Has his own band? I see them on TRL like, everyday." said my sister Jessica.
"Yeah." I said. "Gerard made it big. I'm so happy for him."
"When was the last time he called you?"
I didn't answer. I just sat there, looking through my magazine.
"Haley? Did you hear me? When was the last time he called you?" asked Jessica.
"I don't know, a month ago, maybe." I said.
"A month?! Haley, you are supposed to be his best friend!"
"Well he's really busy! He's touring and shit like that."
"So? He can call you while he's riding in the bus!"
As if on cue, my cell phone rang.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Hey! It's Gerard!" said Gee.
"Hi! I was just talking about you."
"Uh-oh. What did I do now?"
"Nothing." I laughed.
"Good. You scared me for a sec there. Anyway, what are you doing right now? We are in New York for a few days. I want you to meet the band, and of course I want to see you."
"Well, I'm at home, but like, my agent person wants to see me later on. Can you come over like, now?" I asked.
"Yeah, sure. You gave me your new apartment number last time we talked. I hope you won't mind a bunch of guys at your place. And one girl. We are bringing a girl with us. Is that okay?"
"Yeah." I said.
"Okay then. We'll be over soon. I'll see you then." said Gee.
"Okay. 'Bye."
"'Bye."
We hung-up.
"Ha! That was Gerard! Him and the rest of My Chemical Romance are coming over." I said.
"Well, I'm leaving then." said Jess. "Hey, isn't your agent supposed to be coming over?
"Yeah, I said that. Later on in the night, though."
"Gee should ask you to be in one of his music videos."
"He said I could. I just don't think kicking off my acting career by being in a music video is...I don't know." I said.
"Whatever. See you later." said my sister.
"See ya."
Within an hour, Gerard and his friends arrived. He introduced the band members, Bob, Frank, and Ray. I already knew Mikey, obviously. Then I met this girl, who he introduced as Kristi. I had no idea who she was, but I didn't ask why she was there.
Throughout the visit, I noticed she was always by Gerard's side. I got an idea, and when Mikey and I were alone, I asked if she was Gerard's girlfriend.
"We don't know." sighed Mikey. "He won't tell us."
I sighed myself. I didn't need an answer. I knew she was, and it broke my heart.
Present Day
I was laying in the hospital bed, weak as ever.
"Ms. Angelli?" asked the doctor. "How are you feeling?"
"Okay." I lied.
"Good. I will be back shortly, alright?"
"Okay."
The doctor left, and I continued to lay there.
I had cancer. I was undergoing tons of chemotherapy, and was weak as ever. I looked just as bad.
I didn't need a wig yet, which surprised the doctor. My hair wasn't falling out...yet. I wasn't even sure if I was dying. That sounds really bad, but my mind was somewhere else.
Gerard.
He must have been at the height of his career, and I wasn't even sure if he knew about me. I had Jessica try to contact him, but she didn't even know if he heard. She was off on her honeymoon.
I was beginning to think that he had forgotten about me. He hardly ever called me, and he had forgotten my birthday this year. He sent is card late. I even heard that he had gotten engaged, which not only broke my heart, but made me sad, because I had to hear it from the media, instead of him. He was supposed to tell me things like that.
I hated thinking that he had let the fame to his head. Gerard had always been really humble, and he even had low confidence.
Mikey called me more than Gerard did, and Gerard was supposed to be my best friend.
I was beginning to wish that I had never met Gerard. Sure, we had so many fun times together, and had been through so much. Now though, he didn't talk to me anymore than he did to the thousands of screaming fans that he had at his feet. He might have even spoken to them more than he did to me.
I was also beginning to think that that Kristi girl was his girlfriend a few years back, and he just wanted to shove it to me that he had sound someone and I hadn't.
I started to feel used. I was his first and only good friend that wasn't a guy, I might have been his first friend ever, for that matter, and he had basically forgotten all about me.
I had his new CD, and the song Cancer made me think that he would have called even more because he sang a God damn song about it, but he didn't.
And here I was, fighting this disease that could kill me any day, and he didn't even know, or care. He wasn't the person that I used to know. If he was, he would be talking to me, whether by phone or in person. I was there to help him in his time of need, when there was no one around to talk to him.
I then remembered that what he said so long ago was true. No one loved me. He was wrong about the fact that no one loved him. My parents had cut off contact with me because when I went off to college, because I had finally told them I was bi-sexual. Jessica, my only sister, like I said, had just gotten married, and she just talked to me because she felt she had to.
I had spent all this time hoping that Gerard cared about me, even as just a friend. Yes, I was still in love with him. He had gotten so much more attractive, and said some pretty amazing things during intimate interviews, which also bothered me because he used to tell me things like that. Like his out looks on life and stuff.
I looked out the window at the blue sky.
Maybe I was being greedy. Maybe I just wanted Gerard all to myself. No. That couldn't be it. I understood that he was now loved by many people, but that did'nt mean that he had a right tp abandon his old friends just because he found some new ones.
I also called Gerard myself, because talking is a two-way street, but he just never answered.
It occurred to me that the fact that Gerard Way had forgotten about me was bothering me more than the fact that I was more than likely dying of the most deadliest diseases in the world. If I didn't have cancer, it wouldn't have bothered me so much. It was just the fact that at the rate I was going, I would probably never see him again.
Tears started streaming down my face when I thought about the happiest day of my life.
"Why do we always hang-out here on the steps of the school anyway?" I asked.
"Because we don't have any homes to go to. I would rather be here, where I can spend all day with you than at my house." said Gerard. "You are my best friend, Haley. Seriously."
"You are my best friend too, Gerard. I think we are the only two in the school who only have one friend."
"We are. You know why? Because we are all we need. We are such good friends that we don't need anyone else."
"That's true. I just can't wait to get out of this shit-hole of a town."
"Me either. I can't wait to go to art school and become the most famous comic book artist of all time." said Gerard.
"And I can't wait to become the most famous actress of all time. Or maybe a rock star. Either one."
"I would love to be a rock star, too. You know, we may not be the most popular people in Belleville, but we have a lot of fuckin' talent. We can rule the world with all the talent we have."
"Yeah, but we have to do it together, Gerard."
"We will. We might get separated a bit, though, because of the different schools, but after that, we can do whatever we want. Just promise me something, Haley. When your name is up in lights, and you are the most famous person to ever be on the big-screen, promise that you'll never forget me. Especially if you become a rock star, instead."
"I know. I promise that I will never forget you, and that I won't get a big head. Just as long as you promise me that you will be my best friend forever, and that if you become a famous artist or rock star, that you won't forget me."
"I promise. I don't think I could ever be a rock star, now that I think about it. They take themselves way too seriously, and have huge-ass heads."
I sighed and wiped the tears from my eyes. I thought about right after that, after we talked awhile longer, and then of course the kiss.
I looked at my appearance in the mirror. It didn't even look like I was crying.
Gerard's song Cancer had been playing in my head almost non-stopped since I had found out I got it. It made me cry, but not as much as it would've if he was singing it to someone who had cancer. In the song, he was the one with cancer.
The line "Oh My Agony" really described how I was feeling at that moment. I felt helpless, I was probably dying, and no one cared.
I looked at myself in the mirror again. I looked like I normally did. Ugly, half-dead, weird, and soon, I wouldn't have any hair.
"Ms. Angelli, you have a visitor." said the nurse, sticking her head in the door.
"Okay." I said.
It was more than likely my agent. We had a lot of things to work out.
However, when I saw who it was, my jaw dropped, I sat up in my bed, and I was shocked as hell.
"GERARD!"
Gerard ran over and he hugged me tighter than he ever did in my life. I didn't hug him back though. I was pissed at him.
"Gerard, how did you know I was here?" I asked.
"I've known for awhile." said Gerard.
"What?"
"Yeah, your sister left a message, and I just...I'm sorry I haven't called you or anything."
I felt like rolling my eyes, but I was too pissed to do so. There were so many things that I wanted to shout at him, but he stopped me before I could.
"You look really good, you know." he said. "The doctor told me you are getting better."
I tutted.
"They always tell the guests of the patients that." I said, almost in a nasty way. "They said that to some old guy's family. The next day he died."
Gerard had a look of horror on his face.
"Well he was old." said Gee, quickly. "He was going to die anyway."
I just looked at him.
Gerard just looked at me back and then said, "Oh yeah, I had a card and chocolate for you, but they won't let me bring it in."
"Yeah, they are pretty strict here." I said.
"Sure seems like it. Mikey was going to come, but he is still on his honeymoon. But he told me to give you this."
Gerard leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. It was a little more passionate than I think Mikey would've wanted it to be, because Gerard had pressed his lips against my cheek, and let his lips linger a little bit. I was praying that some of it was from him.
My face immediately got hot and I felt like crying again.
Gerard pulled a chair besides my bed and sat down.
"So when are you getting married?" I asked.
"What?" asked Gee.
"Aren't you engaged?"
"Oh...Yeah. About that...It didn't work out."
"Oh. I'm sorry. Were you engaged to Kristi?"
"Huh? Oh, that chick that I brought to your house? No. I wasn't even with her. She was a fan who won a contest that I had to be super nice to."
"But Mikey said that you wouldn't tell him if you were dating her."
"Yeah. I was just being nice to her, and they all thought that I liked her. When he asked if we were dating, I wouldn't answer because I thought he would be smart enough to know that I wouldn't like her like that."
"Oh. I see."
I felt a mixture of relief and stupidness.
"Well, I'm sorry if whoever you were with didn't work out with you." I said.
"Don't be, babe." said Gerard. "It wasn't meant to be. So are you seeing anyone?"
"No." I said, almost snickering.
Gerard looked at me and leaned in and hugged me. I didn't hug back.
"Hug me, sugar." he said.
"I can't. I'm really mad at you." I said.
Gerard just hugged me tighter.
"I know you are." he said. "And you have good reason to be. I'm so sorry I haven't called you or anything. I wanted to. I really did. It's just that after your sister told me you were sick, I sort of went into denial. I was afraid to call you, Haley. I didn't want to start crying or get any closer to you because I was so afraid I was going to lose you and it would hurt ten times as more. Then today I finally realized that I would feel bad the rest of my life if something happened and I couldn't see you."
"Well what was your excuse before I got sick? You forgot my birthday, never returned my calls, and hardly ever called me at all. I know you are busy, but..."
Gerard just held me tighter yet again.
"I was just...I don't know. I'm so sorry. I guess I kind of got so soaked up into the band that I forgot or something. I promise you though, I didn't stop caring about you. I thought about you all the time. I missed you. I was going to call sometimes and I either got interrupted, or something came up, or the guys were bothering me, you know?" said Gerard. "I felt so bad, because I remembered that promise I made you."
"I thought you forgot about that." I said.
"I would never forget that. That was the most important promise I have made in my whole life. Plus, that was the day that we kissed."
My heart stopped when I heard him say that.
"I wasn't just doing that because I wanted a kiss, you know." he continued. "I also wasn't just doing it to seal our promise."
When he said that, I started to cry.
He let go of me and looked at me.
"Oh my God." he whispered, kissing my head. "I'm so sorry."
He wiped the tears from my eyes with the pad of his thumb.
"Don't cry. I had better not catch you crying." he said, joking slightly.
I smiled, then I talked.
"I'm just...I didn't expect to see you, Gerard. I look horrible. I thought I'd never see you again before I die."
"You are not going to die, Haley. I won't let you." he said. "We have to rule the world together. We have to be best friends forever, too."
"Well if I'm dead I can still be your best friend."
"You aren't going to die. If you die, I'm going with you. And you look gorgeous, by the way. You always have. I have had a crush on you since the day I saw you. That first day of kindergarten. Then I fell even more in love with you that day in first grade when we met. You looked past everything that everyone else thought about me and accepted me for who I was. All those kids called me gay, and I was starting to believe it, but then when I saw you, I knew I couldn't be. That was the best birthday I've ever had in my life. And now I'm not going to leave you anymore. And when all of this is over-".
Gerard had to stop talking because he started to cry, heavily. I pulled him to me and we just cried together, like two little kids.
We wiped the tears from each other's eyes.
"I love you so much, Haley. I can't lose you. I need you." said Gerard.
"I love you too, Gerard. And I need you. I just don't want to die. The doctors keep telling me I am getting better, but this chemo is just killing me."
"Don't let it. You have to stay here with me. If I lose you, I'm losing everything."
"Well that's how I was feeling." I said, as Gee wiped my eyes. "You were really the only person I ever had. My parents never cared about me. They told me all the time that I was a mistake. Then my sister always treated me like I was a burden. She still does. That's why I was so devastated when you didn't call me back or anything. You are the only person I felt truly cared about me. Then when I didn't hear from you I felt so lonely."
Gerard pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back this time.
"You'll never have to be lonely again. I promise you that." Gerard said. "I want you to be mine forever. I want you to be more than just my best friend. I have wanted that for so long."
"Me too." I replied, so happy that I was finally telling him that.
"So are we together then?" asked Gerard, smiling fully for the first time since he walked in the room.
"Yeah." I said, smiling back.
Gerard smiled even wider and then put his lips to mine like he did so long ago, only this time he started kissing me right away. He didn't hesitate to lick my bottom lip asking me for entrance and I didn't hesitate to let him in. I ran my fingers through his black hair and he ran his through my black hair, he knew that I still had it. I stopped running my hands through his hair and stroked the back of his neck as we kissed, and it was the most passionate kiss in the world.
When we pulled away, I buried my head in Gerard's neck, and he rubbed my back.
"I love you." he said.
"I love you too." I replied, kissing his cheek.
I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I wasn't sure if I was going to fight this cancer, and live to spend the rest of my time living with Gerard, or if I was going to die, and we would have to be separated until he joined me.
Even if I did live, I wasn't sure if our relationship would last. I was confident that it would, though. We had been best friends since first grade, so that was a good thing to have as a basis for a strong relationship. We already loved each other, and understood each other more than anything.
Only time would tell if I was going to make it. There was no way to be sure.
One thing was for sure though. Whether we were in a relationship or not, whether I was alive or dead, I was always going to love Gerard Arthur Way.
Forever.

| Now Turn Away | 'Cuz I'm Awful Just To See |


Thanks for reading this, I know it was long...
Have a sexy picture Gee!