Mistakes We Knew We Were Making (original slash) {11}

I hesitate in the doorway, but Joel's warm hand tugging on mine allays my fears, and I follow him in.
I don't know what actually will happen, neither of us does, but if he's anything like me, his imagination is running riot.
He turns and grabs my shoulders roughly, pulling me down to the same level as him to kiss me.
From the heightened colour in his face, I think his thoughts have been travelling in a similar direction to mine.
I kiss him back passionately; almost losing myself in the kiss, and Joel moves his hands from my head knowing I won't pull away.
He moves them lower, tracing the curvature of my spine, until my spine ends.
He topples backwards onto my bed, pulling me with him so he's sitting on it, and I'm sitting on him without breaking the contact between our lips for a second.
I end straddling his thighs, his hands clasping me close and my legs folded under me so I'm kneeling on the bed.
Joel suddenly moves his hands away from where they are, supporting me, and I slide to the floor between his legs.
He takes his shirt off in one smooth fluid motion, and I go to do the same.
It's about to cover my eyes when I see Joel pulling down his boxers, and I freeze.
Suddenly it's just all going too far too fast, and the worst of it is Joel hasn't even noticed, still intent on stripping.
Through the hair that's fallen over his face I see flash of bright blue, and our gazes lock.
Neither of us says anything, but I know my expression must be reading volumes, pleading with him.
Slowly he pulls them back on, then turns his back on me and puts his shirt on as well.
I reach out my hand to touch his shoulder, but then drop my arm before I reach him
He runs his fingers through his hair once, and then leaves the room after one last scornful glance at me curled on the floor next to my bed, tears filling my eyes.
There's a quiet click as he shuts the door to the bedroom he chose, and then never slept in.
I'm just glad he's still here, and hasn't left.

Rest In Results Xx >>>

Emergency.Room.Romantics

I don't know what Joel's doing, but by the sound of it not much.

I.e. there is no sound.

My house feels as empty as it always used to, in fact it feels worse than empty, because that was before I'd met Joel.

And it really was empty, rather than just having a gorgeous boy who I couldn't talk to two rooms away.

You can't miss what you've never had, but that's not true.

Not when you've come so close to having it...

I pull myself together, and realise I've got teardrops formed under my eyes.

I drag a finger over it, smearing my eyeliner horribly.

When I stand up my legs are shaking slightly, and it's not just what has happened.

It's also what's going to happen.

When I reach outside Joel's my door, I can't move, rooted to the spot.

I gather all my courage, and even then all I can do is knock.

I can't even open my own door.

There's no response, but the door swings open.

Joel must be practised at moving very fast very quietly, because although he must've opened the door, he is sitting on the bed staring blankly at the door.

He's also fully dressed, despite coming in here not dressed, and not making a sound.

I open my mouth, and then the slight problem arises.

I don't know what to say.

"ughm..." I begin.

Not a good start really.

"Do you want to go back to your place?" I ask, meaning to get his things, to see Carole and everything.

He appears to take it rather differently, and rises his face still a mask and stalks past me down to the hall.

What have I done?

Just so you know, this C-box will appear on all chapters. So your messages can be read in previous chapters if you put about something that happens in this one.