x.x[Everyone.Has.A.Secret]x.x {Pt.012} ||A Sisters Confession||

After a long weekend, it was Monday morning. I awoke and hit the alarm clock hard, as if trying to hurt it.
I took a shower, blow-dried and straightened my hair. I felt quite proud of my long silky black hair. I looked in the mirror and saw black circles under my green eyes. I was pale and sick-looking. I sighed.
I put on a black tank top and dark blue jeans. I put on my bracelet and sprayed on my perfume, then made my way downstairs.
"Hi, CJ." Brea said, as she sat at the kitchen table, eating cereal.
"Hi," I smiled back, "Where’s mom?"
"Sleeping." She said in the middle of chewing her food. I scoffed.
"Want me to do your hair/"
She nodded.
I brought down a brush and the new pony tail elastics. I began to brush her hair and she winced.
"Sorry." I said sympathetically, "It’s really knotty."
"CJ?" Brea said, finishing the last of her cereal.
"Hm?" I replied, still trying carefully not to pull her hair.
I stopped brushing her hair when she didn’t reply.
"What?" I asked louder.
"I heard Mom crying in her room last night."
My stomach constricted with pity. Not for my mom, but for Brea.
I continued brushing her hair. "You did?"
"I know it’s because of Daddy." She said, now drinking the milk from her bowl.
"They’re just having grown-up fights." I said, trying at the same time not to patronize her, but not to talk to her like she was an adult.
"Daddy takes all our money to go to the bar and the casino." She continued.
"Do you know why?" I asked, finally done getting all the knots out of her hair.
"He goes to the bar to drink beer." She said, "And goes to the casino to try to win prizes but he never wins."
"No, he doesn’t." I said bitterly, "But don’t worry about it Brea, it’s-"
I stopped in mid-sentence and to my horror, Brea was crying.
Now I felt like I was going to retch. I sat in the chair next to her. Her chin was quivering and I felt my heart break.
"Brea," I said knowing it was the most ridiculous question, "Why are you crying?"
She said nothing for a moment, then said quietly, "I’m sad."
"About what?" I choked.
"I’m sad that you never get to play with your friends because you always want to stay with me." She said, "And because you never eat dinner because you let me eat it all."
"I-I’m fine, don’t worry about me." I stammered.
"And you always do my hair. All of my friends have their mom’s do their hair. I’m sad because… because I wish I lived at my friends house instead of here." She finished.
I held my head in one hand and stared at her, horrified.
"I’m afraid I’m hurting Mommy’s feelings." She said innocently. The next thing I knew I was holding Brea in my arms and cried.
"Breanne Jade there is nothing wrong with wanting those things." I cried, feeling Brea go stiff and silent, "Even I do sometimes."
"CJ you’re crying..."
"No I’m not." I said quickly, pulling away from her, and continued to do her hair.
"CJ, do you hate dad?"
I stayed silent for a moment, then said, "Do you?"
"Only if you want me to."
I cringed and said nothing. Brea knew not to press the subject and fell silent.
"Okay." I said, finishing her hair, " I have to go to school."
"Wait." Brea said.
I stopped and watched her go into a cubert. She pulled out a banana.
"What’s the doing in there?" I asked.
"I hid it so you could have it for breakfast." She smiled sweetly.
I took it, hugged her saying thank you, then walked out the door. When I closed it I began to cry.