I should have known that meeting you wasn't a good idea...
"Snow Candia and...Gerard Way." The teacher said.
"Excuse me?" Gerard asked.
"Gerard, go partner up with Snow. Snow would you please raise your hand?"
I did as told and looked up at the teacher in confusion. She should know better that I can't. I-I can't.
"Miss?" I whispered.
"Yes Miss Candia?"
I waved her over with my hand.
"I-I can't. Can't I just do this project on my own?" I asked.
"I'm sorry Miss Candia, but you asked to be treated as everybody else and so you shall." She said.
"That's fair." I whispered.
She nodded and Gerard came and sat next to me.
"Hello. I'm Gerard."
I stared at him.
"Uhm, what's your name?"
Trembling, I fumbled with my flash cards. Flipping through them, I found the correct one.
"Hello, my name is Snow Candia. I apologize for the lack of communication, but I am Autistic." Gerard read aloud, but softly.
He looked up at me and I shook in fear.
"Oh. I thought that was like a whole mental disability." He said.
Once again, I flipped through the flash cards and picked another one.
"'The type of autism I fall under is very mild. In my case, I am a normal teen like any other child, except I have horrid communication problems. Much to the contrary belief, Autistic children do not have physical deformities, just mental ones. Unfortunately, I do indeed have a mental disorder. This cannot be cured and I was born with this disability. Actually, it's not a disability, I like to think of it as more of an obstacle that I must tackle.' That's very optimistic. You don't do that whole must stay on schedule thing do you?" He asked.
I shook my head, looking down at the card I just showed him, the last sentence written in my handwriting.
"Oh that's good. I think we should hang out."
I tilted my head to the side, giving the impression that I didn't understand. For I was confused.
"Well, we are going to be partners for the rest of the year. We might as well get used to each other right? Especially if you won't talk to me."
I nodded my head in realization.
"Great, so how's after school on Friday?" Gerard asked.
I pointed downwards and tilted my head again.
"Today's Friday isn't it?"
I nodded.
"Oh, well, would you like to come over to my house today?"
I looked at him, my eyebrows furrowed.
"Will your parents not let you?" He asked.
I shrugged, honestly, they've been telling me to make friends.
"Alright, well, I'll drive you home and you can ask then." He said.
It wasn't a matter if I could go or not. My parents would allow me to go, all I had to do was leave a note. What I needed to decide was whether or not I would like to partake in the afterschool activities that they partook in. I fiddled with the sleeves of my black t-shirt and adjusted my clothing as Gerard read the assignment over. I had already read it over with just a quick minute glance. The assignment was quite easy. I could do it within a night if I really wanted to. But the teacher wanted to see in class progress. This particular project would take the span of half the semester. Which would be the rest of the school year anyway. It was a large project. One that I could EASILY manage in a night, perhaps a weekend if I really wanted to.
"Snow? Snow?!" Gerard called.
Shocking me, I leaped away in fright and fell out of the chair.
"Oh my goodness! Gerard what have you done?!" The teacher yelled.
"Miss, I'm okay. Gerard had startled me that's all." I whispered.
"Are you alright?"
"I'll be fine."
"Do you hurt?"
"I just fell from a chair, I throb a bit."
"Hmm. Well, if you'll be alright, then get back to your work."
I nodded and Gerard held a hand out to me. But I didn't take it. Physical contact wasn't my thing. Never will be. I really don't think I'm autistic. But with doctors as parents they'll diagnose me with anything. I just think I'm anti social. But no, they feed my want to not speak and they accept it, giving me flash cards. Telling EVERYBODY that I'm autistic. I'm not autistic, I'm a listener. Personally, I think my parents have Munchaussen's. But I'm not one to complain. I'm not one to voice anything really. Unless I'm getting my own self out of trouble.
"Are you okay?" Gerard asked.
"I'll be fine." I whispered.
"Wow, this is the first time you've ever spoken to me. Give me a minute to enjoy this and document it." He said.
I giggled. He was funny.
"And she giggles too!" He cried.
This caused me to giggle a bit more.
Like? Tell me about it.
I've made a comback!
Much love and insanity,
Audrey
