Drunken Uchihas (one shot)

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Miharu shouted as Tsuki came in the room with a bottle. "What's that?" Sasori asked.
"It's sake! You can't celebrate New Years without sake!" Tsuki responded, pouring the drink into several glasses and handing them to each Akatsuki member, Miharu, and Sasuke. (For the love of Jashin do NOT ask why he's here).
Sasuke examined the glass. "I really shouldn't. Neither should you two. We're underage and wh--"
"Lighten up bumbag! Here's to a happy New Year!" Miharu raised her glass in a toast, and was quickly followed by the rest. Itachi drained the whole glass in one gulp. "Got any more?" he asked.
"Uh, Sure..." Miharu refilled his glass. "You gonna have anymore, yeah?" Deidara asked Tsuki and Miharu. Tsuki shook her head. "The hangovers are NOT worth it."
"Oh, I see, un."
"Can I have some more?" Sasuke asked, holding up an empty glass.
"Umm...okay, here you go." Tsuki refilled his and Itachi's glass, since Itachi had just asked for more as well. The rest of the group stuck to two or less glasses, but Itachi and Sasuke just went on and on.
"Jashin disapproves of--ow!" Hidan stopped when Miharu hit him on the head. "NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT JASHIN!"
Tsuki was too busy watching the two Uchihas get totally wasted to notice. The only thing that went through her head was ~Wow...those two can really go!~
Miharu had also occupied herself amidst all the Akatsuki cheering with Sasuke and Itachi. As time went on, she made the mistake of letting herself get totally lost in thoughta mistake she was prone to make. Tsuki was smarter than that. Suddenly, Miharu felt an arm slide around her waist. "AAAH WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"
She turned to see Sasuke staring at her. "S-Sasuke! You scared the hell out of me!"
Sasuke smirked. "I've been trying to find someone to help me revive my clan...are you up to the job?"
Miharu thought she was going to puke. ~WHAT THE HELL?!?! WHAT'S I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!~
She managed to restrain herself and stick to saying "W-what?! No!" and pushing Sasuke's arm away.
"Aw, come on baby, just once? I promise to be gentle."
That didn't help at all. If anything, that just made it worse. "YOU PERVERT!" she cried, hitting him on the head. "What do you think I am, some kind of whore?!"
"Yep." Tsuki responded while having a grand ol' time flirting with a drunken Itachi. ~Lucky bastard...~ "I am not a--THAT'S MY LEG!!"
Sasuke kept his hand on her thigh until she beat him on the shoulder enough to make him let go. "You're no fun."
"Well YOU'RE a creep!"
"Nobody will hear us."
"Who said there would be anything to hear?!"
"I'm going to bed now." Hidan said, getting up and leaving. "Me too." Kakuzu followed along with Sasori, Leader, Zetsu, and Kisame. "I'll stay here, yeah."
"No you won't." Sasori forced Deidara into his room, then left for his own. (Sorry, no yaoi. Bad me.)
~Oh shit...~ was all Miharu could think. She then remembered that Itachi and Tsuki were still there, and breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm taking Miharu to bed now, so..."
"Sasuke, just shut up!" Miharu shouted, using her hand as a shield against drunken Sasuke. It was going to be a long night.
At first Itachi's perviness had been fun, but now it was just getting creepy. "Hey, Tsuki."
"What now?!" Tsuki complained.
"Why don't we play the color game?"
"The color WHAT?"
In response. Itachi forced Tsuki to sit on his lap and placed a hand on her leg. "What the hell?!"
"Guess a color." Itachi said in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Oh, I know where this is go--hey!"
Itachi moved his hand further up her leg. "That's not a color. You only have a few chances..."
"Fine! Uhh...red."
Nope.
"Green?"
She was running out of chances.
"Purple?" ~Come on, this is getting ridiculous.~
A couple chances left.
"Uhh...grey!"
"Dammit...you win." Itachi took his hand off her leg. "YESSS!!"
"Tsuki, Sasuke's about to rape me! HELP!"
"I'M HAVING MY OWN PROBLEMS!!"
"Itachi. Bed. NOW. And don't even THINK of dragging Tsuki."
Itachi, in his horribly perverted state, left Tsuki and went off to bed. "Now help! That doesn't work on emo chicken!"
"If anyone's the chicken it's you. What's the worst that could happen?" Sasuke chimed in.
"Uh, I could get PREGNANT." Miharu snapped.
"So?"
"'So?' SO?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'SO?!' THAT'S ABOUT AS BAD AS IT GETS!!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO HAVE KIDS!!! YOU FILTHY PERRVERT!! IF I WERE A NINJA, I'D"
"So you're not a ninja? Why didn't you tell me?" Sasuke asked. ~Because now I'll get raped.~
Tsuki came up with an idea. "hey Sasuke, Miharu's really tired, with staying up so late and all, so maybe you should wait till tomorrow when she's more rested?" Of course, by then he'd be sober and wouldn't even dare. But right now he was wasted out of his mind, so of course he'd fall for it.
"Eh?! That must be why you're so cranky. Fine then, tomorrow. Good night." Sasuke said, patting Miharu on the chest.
"AHEM."
"Till tomorrow."
Once Sasuke was out of earshot, Miharu turned to Tsuki and said "That was pure genius right there."
"I know."

OMG IT'S AN ANSWER!!!!!
I was hyper. tell me if you liked it, and if you didn't, then I'm very sorry. but this was for my own amusment.