Land of Delusion. (PSC)~ Chapter 24_ Recovering for nothing - Result = Picture Kasumi with trees

Chapter Twenty-Four
Title: Recovering for nothing.
(Friday)
(KOHANNA'S POINT OF VIEW)
I woke up, seeing Haruko, Hikaru, Mitsuko, Kazuo, Aki, Rini and surprisingly Kiyoshi above me. I rubbed my head, wincing a bit.
But when I started thinking about what happened, I jumped up.
Me: Oh my god!
I hugged Kazuo, tightly.
Kazuo: Are you okay?
I let go of him, and I looked at everyone.
Me: Y-you're all alive!
Haruko placed his hands on my shoulders, looking at me.
Haruko: Of course we are.. You should sit down.
Me: How can this be?
Haruko: You're home now..
I looked at Hikaru.
Me: Y-you're here as well?
Hikaru nodded. My eyes went to Kiyoshi, Kazuo and Mitsuko.
Me: I haven't seen you guys for such a long time.....
I hugged Mitsuko, and then Kiyoshi.
Me: This can't be...
I let go, walking to the livingroom, while everyone looked at me weirdly, and worried.
Me: If you are here... Maybe Miyoko and Kasumi are back too!
I looked everywhere, but didn't find them. I sighed.
Me: I should've known...
I turned to Kasumi's bedroom door, walking in. Her room had been empty for days and days. Just like Miyoko's. It was too quiet.
Me: Everyone was dead.... How did they come back to life?
I felt a hand on my shoulder, turning around, seeing Kiyoshi standing there.
Kiyoshi: Who was dead?
Me: You were all dead!
It took me some time to finally notice they all magicly came back to life in the time I was out. I guess, I started losing it.
Kiyoshi: No.. No we weren't. We never have been... Calm down.
He placed his hand on my shoulder, patting it a bit.
Kiyoshi: Calm down.
I turned myself around, facing myself to Kasumi's room again.
Me: Then where are Kasumi and Miyoko?!!!!
Kiyoshi: I-...
He stopped talking. He didn't know them too well... He didn't know anything. Mitsuko came in with Kazuo.
Kazuo: Hana, lay down. You're taking things way too fast.
Me: Where are they?! I'm dreaming this all, aren't I?
Kazuo and Mitsuko looked at each other, then to me.
Mitsuko: What happened?
Me: You can't be alive! You were dead!!
Kazuo put his arm around me, walking me to the livingroom so I could sit down.
Kazuo: Look, Hana.. Whatever Kaoru showed you.. Try to forget about it.. It wasn't real.
Me: It was!!!! He showed me his tapes!!! He showed me!!!! Those were real images he showed me!
Kazuo: Hana...
He sat me down, placing his hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eyes.
Kazuo: It wasn't real..
I stood up again, running into my room. Seeing everyone wasn't there anymore. I threw my door closed and sat down on my bed.
Me: What's going on?.... I'm going crazy...
I heard Kazuo at the other side of my door, and he came in.
Kazuo: Hana.. Please, calm down. Try to...
Me: I am calm.... This isn't real..... I want to wake up.. This is too depressing.. It's CRUEL to show me this!
I put my hands infront of my eyes, shaking my head.
Me: Wake up... Stop this....
I felt my hands got grabbed away gently from my eyes.
Me: Leave me alone...
Kazuo: Calm down... Please...
I looked in his eyes, and saw he was worried. It seemed he hadn't slept neither. I felt I had calmed down a bit... But still not entirely. I still couldn't believe it. I still believed Kaoru was making me crazy.
Me: Stop it....
It was hard to see this all infront of me, and still trying to NOT believe it. It was horrible.
Kazuo sat down beside me, and wrapped his arm around me. He pulled me close, so I lay my head on his shoulder and half in his neck.
Me: This can't be happening... Kaoru, stop it....
Kazuo sighed, and I heard his madness in his voice. He was angry at Kaoru.
Kazuo: Everything will be okay.. Rest...
Me: Maybe.. Maybe I will wake up then.... I have to wake up.... How do I wake up?....
Kazuo stroke my cheek, and started singing something.
His voice was working like magic on me. I started believing this was real.
He sang for a while, and I got tired. Slowly.... I wanted to hear every word he sang... I wanted to hear him sing. I wanted to listen 'till he would stop.
But I failed... And I fell asleep.
(KAZUO'S POINT OF VIEW)
Kazuo had stopped singing after a while, and he noticed Kohanna was asleep.
He smiled. Just what he was aiming for. He lay her down, covering her with a blancet from her closet. He threw one last look at her, and then walked out of the bedroom.
And his furious feeling returned.
He walked to the rest in the livingroom, seeing Rini, Hikaru and Aki were not there. Hikaru had been wanting to tell them something urgent for already some time. But he couldn't do that, because of Kohanna. His friends looked at him.
Kazuo: That bastard is going to pay.... What kind of sick person would do something like this?!
He started running to the front door, but got held back by his friends.
Haruko: Stop it, calm down. I know what you're going through, Kazuo. But, right now.. We can't really do anything.
Mitsuko: Let's wait for Hana to wake up, and then we'll see what we'll do when she gets a little better.
Kiyoshi nodded.
All of the sudden, they heard a scream from outside. It was Rini's voice.
Rini: SHE WHAT?!
Whatever Hikaru said.. It must've been something bad.
Hikaru: Aki! Grab him! Let's get him inside!
Not a minute later, Hikaru and Aki came inside, holding a shocked Rini.
Rini: This can't be happening....
They brought him to Kasumi's room, and stayed there for a while.
Kazuo, Haruko, Mitsuko and Kiyoshi had been looking at that door for a while, but then sat down on the couch again. Haruko forcing Kazuo.
Kazuo: It's just not fair...
Haruko, Mitsuko and Kiyoshi nodded.
Haruko: I'll go check upon her. Kazuo, stay here and calm down.
He walked to her room, opened it, and disappeard behind it.
(HARUKO'S POINT OF VIEW)
Haruko walked into Kohanna's bedroom, and closed the door behind him. He grabbed a chair and sat down next to the bed. Looking at her.
Haruko: There is something I wanted to tell you... But, I didn't get the chance....
He stopped talking, for a couple of minutes.
Haruko: It's over now, Kohanna... Everything'll be okay.
Kohanna rolled over on her side, facing him now. But she was still asleep. Haruko grinned a bit.
Haruko: I'm not dead... And I won't be for a long time... I promise...
He stood up, crouching over her.
Haruko: I promise I'll take care of you...
He paused.
Haruko: I won't give up on you..
He kissed her on her lips, and walked out again.
(Saturday)
(KOHANNA'S POINT OF VIEW)
I woke up, feeling light.. Yet heavy. But I did feel better then I did before I went to sleep. I stood up, and went to the bathroom. I did my routine, and looked in the mirror. And I noticed a bottle of hairdye, standing before me. A note with it. From Kasumi.
Note: Another extra for your birthday. You wanted this colour for a long time, here's your chance.
I thought back. Did she leave it that long ago? I never saw it? I felt stupid for this.
I grabbed it, seeing the colour was white. Litterly white. Bleach-white. I grinned. Kasumi was right. I had been wanting to do that colour for some time now.
I grabbed my hairbrush, and combed my hair, noticing how long my hair was already. The back of my hair was already over the middle of my back. While the front near my breasts. I didn't like it.
I walked to the bedroom, grabbed scissors and walked to the bathroom again. I could cut hair very well, so this wouldn't be a problem. I started cutting the front, and was done pretty soon. I grabbed the bottle of hairdye and started dyeing.
In about an hour I was finished, and was washing my hair. It turned out how I planned, and I nodded proudly in the mirror. I tied the back of my hair and walked out the bathroom.
I walked to my closet, and grabbed clothes for me to wear, and I dressed. I felt much better then I felt at first. Something had calmed me.
I believed now, everything would be okay. Miyoko and Kasumi would come back. And Kaoru too. Everything would go back to how everything was before all of it happened.
The Shi-Parasites probably found peace as well. The king was dead, so everything would go better in town as well. Everything would be okay.
I walked to the door, and opened it, seeing everyone sitting in the livingroom. They all stood up, when they saw me. Confused.
Me: How's everyone?....
I didn't get an answer, just.. Stares.
Me: I dyed my hair... I cut it too! Does it look okay?
They nodded. I smiled.
Me: Good!
I sat down on a chair and noticed everybody was still staring at me. I felt myself getting warm, and thought I would probably be red. I looked down at my hands, sighing.
Me: So... Anyone have any idea for, what to do now?
I looked around at everybody, seeing Rini had a bit of a lost expression on his face. But not a good one. He seemed depressed. And Aki.. He had this too.
Me: What's wrong?
Rini looked at me, smiling.
Rini: Nothing..
He was trying to let me think nothing was wrong, but I knew there was. I never saw Rini like this in the time he had been here. But I decided not to be too nosy, and wait 'till they were ready, and would tell me themselves. I nodded understanding and looked at Hikaru. He still had his purple weird outfit on, only now he had bandage over his stomech, and it seemed he had washed himself. His hair seemed more fluffy then before as well. When he noticed my eyes on him, he looked back at me, and I quickly looked the other way, smiling.
Me: Well, I think I'm going to Keiko... I haven't been to her for a long time.
Haruko nodded.
Haruko: I'll go with you.
I nodded back, letting him know I found this okay. I put on my shoes, and went outside with Haruko.
Even though I acted as if nothing was wrong anymore, I still had the images Kaoru showed me, in my head. Even though they were fake, I couldn't let go of them..
We came at school, walking in. We walked to the right, and into Keiko's room, seeing she was playing with Nami. They were making a puzzle. It seemed she had grown a bit. Or it was just my imagination, since I hadn't seen her for a while.
Me: Keiko?
Keiko looked up, and when she saw us, she smiled, jumping up from her spot on the ground.
Keiko: Moooom!!!!! Daaaaaaaaad!
She ran to us and hugged us. Mom? Dad? She changed her way of talking in such a small amount of time, to sound older. I smiled at this.
Me: I'm so sorry I didn't come for so long....
She nodded, while she let go.
Keiko: It's okay... Dad told me some things on the phone, and Nami was holding me company too!
I nodded, smiling a bit, thanking Haruko.
Keiko: You're okay now, right, mom??
I nodded.
Keiko: And your hair is different!! I want too!
I laughed at this.
Me: Not yet.
Haruko nodded.
Keiko pulled me and Haruko to her friend and sat us down.
Keiko: We got this puzzle from Kei!
I looked at Haruko.
Me: Kei?
I looked back at Keiko.
Me: You know Kei?
Keiko nodded, smiling.
Keiko: He visits me sometimes. He plays with me, and tells me stories too!
My jaw dropped. I never knew this.
Me: How nice! Since when does he do these cool things with you, Keiko?
Keiko lifted her shoulders a bit.
Keiko: For as long as I can remember. He comes every ones in a while.
I nodded understanding, but still stunned.
Me: Well, you won't mind letting us watch you play with your friend here, right??
Keiko shook her head, and me and Haruko sat down on a couple of chairs.
Me: How come I never knew this?..
Haruko lifted his shoulders.
Me: How does he know her?
I looked at Keiko play, and at the moment she looked at me from down, I saw it. I looked at Haruko, shocked.
Me: What if he's her father?!
Haruko looked at me weirdly.
Haruko: Noooo, of course not! Why would he leave her here then?
I sighed, thinking a bit.
Me: We could ask him? I mean, all he does is work anyway.. It wouldn't surprise me if he lived in our classroom.
Haruko smirked a bit, but nodded.
Haruko: If you want, we can ask..
I nodded, seeing his look turn into a stare. His facial expression was loving though, thank god it wasn't an evil one. I started laughing.
Me: What are you staring at?
Haruko smiled and looked the other way, and I noticed he got red.
Me: Are you going red on me?
Haruko shook his head, but I knew he was lying.
Haruko: What if I am though?
I stopped laughing, stunned at him saying this.
Me: You would never!
I said sarcasticly, laughing.
Haruko: Why?
I lifted my shoulders, looking at Keiko again. She was laughing with her friend. They had so much fun, and I missed seeing this for a long time. I felt bad for it. I saw she was wearing my necklace though, and that cheered me up a bit.
I knew I wouldn't be a good mother on this moment... I didn't have enough time.. Things were too messy on this moment.
I hoped things would get better soon, that Haruko and me could take her home one day.. I really did. But on this moment, that wouldn't be a good idea.
I started to stare at her... An interesting little girl, that was so much older then her real age, from the inside. She was more grown up then the most grown ups I had met. I smiled, and before I could think of it, Kei walked by, looking inside at Keiko. It seemed he wanted to go in at first, but when he saw me and Haruko, he left it. I stood up, saying I would be right back, and ran out, chasing Kei-sama.
Me: Kei!!!
Kei stopped walking, sighing, and turned around.
Kei: What is it?
Me: How come you never told me you know her?
Kei: Did I have to?
Me: Is she your daughter?
Kei's expression on his face, turned into a stunned one.
Kei: Why would you think this-
Me: Is she?!
Kei sighed.
Kei: I don't know what you're talking about.
Me: DON'T lie to me.....
Kei looked around a bit, sighing sadly.
Kei: Okay okay, fine.... Yes, she is.
My eyes widened.
Me: Then why is she here?! Why did you leave her here?! You just dumped her here?!
I was angry.. So angry I started rambling. I didn't know what to say or ask first. So everything came out at the same time.
Kei: Is wasn't like that..
Me: Of course not!
Kei: My wife-.....
He stopped talking, sighing again.
His wife?... Did he have one? He seemed he could hide it very good in class..... I couldn't believe it..
Me: Your wife?...
Kei: Yes.... I couldn't raise Keiko by myself....... She wouldn't get enough attention..
Me: What? She dumped you?
Kei: She died, okay?.... She died at birth.....
My jaw dropped, and I started feeling guilty.
Me: I-I'm sorry... I... I didn't know...
Kei: Next time think before you speak.. Think before you decide hurting things.
Me: I'm sorry..... I really am...
Kei nodded a bit.
Kei: Please, don't tell her or anyone....
Me: She doesn't know you're her father?
Kei shook his head.
Kei: No... I don't want to make things worse.. I don't want to confuse her with these things... It's not important anymore.. Me as her father is not something to be proud of. She would be ashamed.
I shook my head.
Me: It's better if she did know..... If you decide to skip to tell this for the rest of her life, she'll find out herself. She'll hate you.
Kei sighed.
Kei: Then what-
Me: Tell her.. It's better to start young, instead of telling things too late.
Kei sighed, looking at his hands.
Kei: I will think about it...
I nodded.
Me: I hope you decide the good thing.
Kei sighed again, shaking his head.
Kei: To her, you and Haruko are her parents... Do you really think, that I'll make any difference when I tell her this?!
Me: It's always better then to cover important things like this up... She would want to know this..
And with that, I started walking back.
Kei: Promise you won't tell!
I sighed, nodding at him.
I didn't know why I helped Kei. With this, I would probably lose Keiko... But I couldn't think for myself with this. This was too important.
I walked into Keiko's room, and just watched her from afar. I thought by myself, that that was probably what I could get later on. I didn't know... I didn't want to think about it yet. But that just came up. Haruko noticed me, and walked to me.
Haruko: Did you went to see Kei-sama?
I shook my head. But then nodded it.
Me: Yeah..
Haruko: What did he say?
I looked at him now, noticing I had to lie to him now. I told Kei I wouldn't tell anyone. I decided to change the subject. I looked at Keiko.
Me: Did anything happen while I was gone?
Haruko shook his head, noticing me changing the subject suspisciously.
Haruko: She IS his child, isn't she?....
His face turned sadly... I felt horrible by this. I lifted my shoulders.
Me: I don't know, he didn't tell me. He didn't answer me, just looked at me like I was crazy.
I couldn't help this.. I told Kei I wouldn't tell anymore, and I didn't want to break Haruko's heart by destroying his dream.
We remained there for the day, and went home just before the lights went off. Even though that wasn't nesseccary, people didn't know there wasn't any danger anymore. If I told them, they wouldn't believe me.
We got sent home, so we couldn't stay.
We came home, and I went straight to bed.
(Sunday)
I woke up, rubbing my eyes and standing up. I went to the bathroom, did my routine. I walked to my closet, and grabbed some clothes. The shirt I got from Kaoru for my birthday.. I decided to wear it, and grabbed a pair of pants. I tied my hair again.and then went to the livingroom, seeing I was the first to wake up. Normally, I would be alone in the house, but since Aki and Rini lived here now.. And Hikaru was staying here as well.. And Haruko didn't want to leave neither, together with Mitsuko, Kiyoshi, Kazuo, I wasn't alone now.
They stayed with me.. They all stayed with me.
I grabbed something to eat, and ate whatever I grabbed. Slowly, people woke up, and in less then 2 hours, everyone was.
Kazuo: How are you this morning?
I looked at Kazuo, as he sat down infront of me at the table. I nodded.
Me: I'm good, what about you?
Kazuo nodded, now pointing at my shirt.
Kazuo: I see you're wearing Kaoru's shirt.
I nodded.
Kazuo: Looks good on you.
I thanked him. Aki came to us, having a worried look on his face.
Aki: Have any of you guys seen Rini?
We both shook our heads. Rini wasn't sleeping? Hikaru came walking in too, looking around a bit.
Haruko: Aa, he'll come back soon.. He's probably taking some fresh air.
Aki sighed.
Aki: Maybe... Since he had the news, he-
Me: What news?
Aki looked at me, his face turned into a sad one.
Aki: Tora died......
My eyes widened a bit.
Me: Tora? His girlfriend Tora?
Aki: She got murdered by our enemy... Shuura.. He killed her.....
His face turned into a furious one.
Hikaru: She forced herself into his villiage, so Shuura could kill her off.
Aki glared at Hikaru.
Aki: I don't believe that!
Hikaru sighed. And I did too.
Me: You know?... I'm going outside... Need some fresh air. If I see Rini, I'll tell him to go home..
Aki and Hikaru nodded.
Kazuo: Want me to go with you?
I shook my head.
Me: No, I need to think for a bit.
Kazuo nodded, understanding, and I went outside.
I passed some trees, now noticing there were pink blossoms on the trees. I was surprised by this, since the only place I had seen this was my dreams and heaven. I walked to a tree, and felt the blossoms. They smelled very nice.
I sat down when I came by the river, as I was surrounded by those trees and I felt calm. Hours went by, and the sky turned more darker then usual.. Meaning it turned night. All of the sudden, I saw Rini coming out of the bushes.
Me: Rini!
I stood up, walking to him.
Me: I'm sorry.. About your friend...
Rini nodded a bit, smiling.
Rini: So you heard...
I nodded.
Me: Aki and Hikaru are worried about you though, you should go home.
Rini nodded.
Rini: Okay then.... Will you come with me?
I shook my head.
Me: I'll come soon... I want to sit here for a moment...
Rini nodded, turning around. Just as he was about to walk away, someone appeared between the trees. Looking at us.
Voice: It's time to go to school....
We looked clearly, seeing it was Kasumi.
Me: Kasumi?
Rini's face changed to a stunned one, and he walked to her.
Rini: Kasumi.... You came back.....
Kasumi looked at him, she had her school-uniform on. Her hair seemed longer then normally. But, that could be my imagination as well. She hadn't been home for a while.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
Kasumi didn't speak, she just looked at me.
Rini: Will you come home with me?
Again, Kasumi didn't answer him.
Kasumi: It's time to go to school.....
I didn't understand why she said this. It wasn't time yet.
Me: Kasumi?... Why are you-
Kasumi: It's time to go to school.....
Rini reached out for her, touching her. His face cleared up, when he finally could touch her. This was proof she was really here.
Rini: Kasumi....
Kasumi looked at him.
Kasumi: It's time.. To go to school..
Me: Why are you saying this?
She was acting so weird.... I never seen her acting this way.
Kasumi walked to me, laying her hand on my shoulder. She nodded, smirking a bit. She didn't seem to be herself. But was she herself? Or was this the other Kasumi?
Kasumi: It's time, to learn what death really is.
She threw me in the water, diving in after me, pulling me under water while I was trying to breathe.
Me: Stop-
Again, I got pulled under water. Rini stared at us, and he didn't know what to do. I pushed Kasumi away, climbing out the water. I looked at Rini, not believing he didn't help me.
Me: Rini?
Rini was so confused... He didn't want to believe Kasumi would do this...
Me: Why didn't you-
Rini pulled me aside, and I looked behind me, seeing Kasumi was coming our way.
When Kasumi saw Rini pulling me behind him, she stopped walking.
Kasumi: Give her to me..
Rini shook his head.
Rini: Please, Kasumi... Please, stop this..
Kasumi grinned.
While he was trying to make Kasumi stop, I heard someone behind me while I was squeezing the water out of my clothes and hair.
Voice: Hello...
Someone appeared behind me, their face next to mine, whispering in my ear. Immediately I knew, this was Kaoru.
Me: K-Kaoru?
Rini turned around. His eyes widened.
Rini: Leave her alone..
Kaoru looked at Rini, while he held me. One arm around my waist, the other, holding a knife to my neck.
Kaoru: Aaa, trying to be the hero, are you?... Try to save your dear Kasumi, instead of Hana... She's mine.
Rini's eyes widened, turning around to Kasumi. She wasn't there anymore. He turned around again, to where Kaoru and me were standing.. But we weren't there anymore...
I blinked my eyes, seeing I wasn't by the river anymore. I was in a room now. Purple, white and black. I wasn't being held anymore. I noticed I was dry as well.. Not wet from the river anymore.
I looked around, seeing Kaoru was sitting on a chair, looking at me. Again, he had the piece of cloth over his nose. He seemed to do that alot, a thing the real Kaoru did as well. Only, not always.
He grinned at me.
Kaoru: The shirt I bought for you... I couldn't help myself. I needed to see.
Kasumi already said he would want to see when I would be wearing this. And she was right.
I sighed.
Me: You didn't buy me this.. Kaoru did.
Kaoru chuckled.
Kaoru: I'm Kaoru..
I shook my head, sighing. I started looking around. I saw Kasumi was here as well.
Me: Kasumi?
Kasumi looked at me.
Me: W-why didn't you go home with Rini?... Why are you here?
Kasumi's face changed a bit.
Me: You don't belong here.... Why don't you just go home? Everyone misses you... Especially Rini..
Kasumi: Rini betrayed me.... He played me...
Me: Kasumi.. You're not like this... Kaoru is doing this to you... Rini misses you alot.. He will need you now more then ever... He'll need your comfort since Tora has died.
Kasumi's eyes widened.
Kasumi: She died?
Kaoru stood up.
Kaoru: Stop talking! Kasumi! Go away!
Kasumi looked at Kaoru, then ones more to me. And then she vanished.
Kaoru turned himself to me.
Kaoru: Why do you keep doing that?
I sighed.
Me: She doesn't deserve to be a slave of you..
Kaoru: She's not my slave..
Me: Yes, she is.
Kaoru lay his hands on my shoulders.
Kaoru: Please, don't ruin this beautiful moment.. Even though you smell like Haruko too much, I'll forgive you.
I looked at Kaoru weirdly. I smelled like Haruko?... I went to Keiko yesterday with him.. In the morning I showered, and just a moment ago I fell in the water... How could I still smell like Haruko?
Kaoru looked at me. For a moment there he looked peaceful. He looked loving. He was watching me.
Me: Why don't you let me go?...
Kaoru grinned.
Kaoru: You're mine...
Me: I'm not yours..
Kaoru: We made a deal..
Me: A deal you already broke..
Kaoru grinned more, rolling his eyes.
He cupped my face.
Kaoru: You'll learn to like being here.... You're here to stay after all..
I sighed, still looking at him. I felt strangely calm..
Me: Why did you show me those lies?
Kaoru chuckled.
Kaoru: I was trying to drive you insane... I was planning on marking you when you passed out, but your bloody maggots came, so that plan went down.
Me: Mark me?
Kaoru: I was trying to make you mine officialy..
I felt disgusted, by the thought that he almost did something to me I wouldn't have liked.
I looked at him still, pulling myself away from him.
Kaoru: You should stop being so defensive too. I never hit you, did I? I wouldn't hurt you...
I shook my head unbelievingly.
Me: I don't believe you... You hurt me enough by showing me those lies. You hurt me by tying me to the wall back then.. You're hurting me all the time.
Kaoru sighed.
Kaoru: That will stop...... Believe me, please...
He almost sounded like the real Kaoru.. But what he was trying to say, was different. I turned myself away from him, but he pulled me around again.
Kaoru: Why do you hate me so bad?
Again, he sounded sentimental.. Normal... I found this so confusing. Since when did he care if I hated him or not? I thought he found that nice?
Kaoru: Why?
He pulled me close and hugged me. But then pushed me away.
Kaoru: Those GODD*AMNED feelings of your friends are infecting me! WHY DOESN'T HE STOP?!
Kaoru's feelings? Would that mean-?.... No.. Of course not, that vanished long ago.
I look at Kaoru from my distance, and remained there. Would I be here for good this time? No, that couldn't be...
I wanted to save Kaoru, and that's what I would try to do...
OK

OK, I did it ^^ I feel very proud now! ^^ Hope it's long enough ^^