The Queen and I - 1 - Travis McCoy

God damn. I'm really starting to wish I could remember what the hell I did last night.
Sadly, this is a recurring event in the morning. It tends to take me an hour and several phone calls to get the full story, but luckily I apparently have a semi-sane alcohol ridden brain to know not to go home with strangers.
Although, at times, I think strangers would be better to wake up to then the less than happy face I have been met with the past couple of mornings, sitting at his kitchen table.
"You know you need to stop this." he says. It's not a question like he is waiting for my answer. He's just telling me.
"Oh like you are really one to talk. Who's the one going out with me every night and meeting up with our friends? This isn't a one sided thing like you are my night in fucking armor. Just leave me alone."
"Victoria-"
"Don't call me that Travis."
This is how things are. I get wasted and the confrontation the next morning kills me. I don't need constant reminders on how to live my life. I know it's fucked. Whether I like it or not is still up in the air.
"Tori," he says, making emphasis on my name to shut me up. "Don't forget I am also the one making sure you get someplace safe every night and not with the first guy who buys you a drink."
"I'm not like that Travis." I say, not having the nerve to look up at him.
"You're only not like that because you get stopped."
Sometimes I want so bad to just tell him to go to hell, and the only thing stopping me is my common sense telling me it's not a good idea. With all the brain cells I've killed, I do still have that left. So instead I decide to leave with whatever of my dignity, and my ego, I have left.
Needless to say there is far more ego left to spare.
This is how mornings have gone for me for a couple weeks. I wake up, try to remember where the fuck I am and roll out of bed to have the same reaction. I put my defenses up just when I begin to feel threatened.
Although if anything I shouldn't be putting a guard up around Travis. He's the only one giving a shit anymore. Any of my other friends would salute me off words good cheers and good luck instead of trying to stop me walking out on a strange guy's arm.
Although I don't see why it is any of his business. We have a strange relationship. It is more than friends, and less than dating type of stuff, yet we still find ourselves in this same situation. He pulls, I push, and we both get thrown off by the other.
I am barely out of his apartment building before my phone starts ringing from the pocket of my jacket. Digging it out, I quickly press the answer button. "Hello?"
"Okay, so what the hell happened to you last night? Because one minute I was talking to you, I turn away for a second and youre gone. Did you turn into fucking Houdini or something?"
Ah, Pam. I was wondering when she was going to call me.
"No, Travis took me home. I guess it was midnight or something and he didn't want me turning into a pumpkin." I say, shoving my free hand in my pocket and looking for my wallet.
"He does know he isn't your babysitter right?"
"Yeah, I think so at least. But he's only trying to watch out for me."
"Whatever. Want to meet me for coffee?" Pam asks.
"Already ahead of you." I say, spotting her walking towards me on the sidewalk towards Starbucks. Hanging up, I speed up a little until we are both at the door.
"Okay, so can't we go out without Travie? Because he is seriously killing your groove."
Looking over at her I say, "Did you just say he is killing my groove? Where the fuck did that come from?"
"You know what I mean." she says, rolling her eyes at me. "You can't have any fun with Mr. No Fun around. Why is he acting like this, he never used to be your little drink guard."
I have a ten second debate with myself on whether or not I want to discuss why he has put himself in charge of me, but I'd really rather not discuss it. Preferably not ever, but especially not in a Starbucks with the annoying gossipy girl behind the counter.
"I don't know." I lie after ordering my drink. "But we have all the same friends, so it's not like we can go around calling everyone and saying 'Make sure you don't tell Travis where we're going, I don't want him watching me tonight.' Not going to work."
"Then you talk to him, because it is driving me crazy." she says, grabbing her drink and leading us out the door.
Yeah, like that is going to happen. I can just see the phone call now. 'Hey Travis, thanks for being a great friend, but could you stop it?'
Uh, no.
Getting outside, I am about to follow Pam down the street to go wherever it was she decided she wanted to drag me today, but decide I'm not in a mood to be social.
"Hey Pam, I'll catch up with you later. I'm going to go home and chill out for a little bit." I say, turning back down the street in the opposite direction.
I honestly wish I could just tell Travis to lighten up, but I'm afraid that if he actually listens I'll get myself into trouble. Again. Because he's the only one who knows of what shit I am capable of getting myself into when my guard is down from one too many drinks bought by one too many assholes.

so sick, so sick of being tired
and oh so tired of being sick
rate, message && cbox please