Blood Is Thicker Than Tears (Draco) Betrayal and Sacrifices

Blood Is Thicker Than Tears

Chapter Twenty-Eight

When three more girls joined the two standing before Harry, he stared at them in surprise; he didn't know how to react. Turning around, he ran towards the Hospital Wing. He had to tell his friends what had happened. His mind was clouded though; did he even know what had happened?
Her. Of all the girls in the entire school, she was the third most unlikely person to be a Death Eater. Third because Hermione and Luna were the first two improbable girls to ever betray the Light side. Harry couldn't wrap his mind around the concept. Just a few weeks ago, she had woken him from a deep slumber to talk. She wanted to know if he was sure he had made the right decision last year. If he was happy.
Why was she doing this? What had happened to make her change her perception of Voldemort and his followers so drastically? So many people would be hurt when they found out. He couldn't even imagine what kind of reactions this would draw.
When he reached the door to the Hospital Wing, he practically threw the plates of food on the ground. Gasping for air, he stared at the people in front of him. Everything he was going to say, all that he had seen, was pushed out of his mind. Draco was awake and that was all that mattered right now.

Noticing the distraught figure of his brother in the doorway, Draco sat up from his embrace with Hermione. Shaking his head, his mouth fell open. Sighing, he finally asked the question that had been plaguing him since he first woke up. "What am I doing here?" he questioned; his voice low and almost scared.
"You're alive," Harry whispered.
"How?" Draco wondered, his brow furrowing.
"We brought you back," Hermione told him. "There's this really old spell that can revive the dead." Her voice fell away.
"I thought that was impossible." Draco's head shook back and forth; his eyes staring off somewhere random.
"So did we," Harry answered. Walking across the room, he slumped onto the cot on the other side of Draco's bed.
"It took our tears," Hermione explained, in a hushed tone. "Dumbledore said they could only come from those who truly loved you."
Looking up, he looked between his brother and the love of his life. "So it was you and Harry who resurrected me?"
"And Falesha," Harry told him. "We didn't know. McGonagall said we couldn't know about the spell so it would be at it's most pure and real state, or something like that."
"It sounds rather simple," he said, quietly.
"It was harder than you think." The raven haired boy bit his lip, his eyes becoming glassy.
Ron sat quietly, his chin resting in his hands.
"But it felt like I'd been gone for so long," he told them.
"An hour, I believe," Hermione said.
"It felt like it was forever though," Harry admitted. Looking around the quiet room, his shoulders slumped. "Where were you?" he wondered. "Were you really with them? With mum and dad?" His eyes watered, so he forced them shut. "With Sirius?"
Looking down, Draco clenched his jaw. "Yes," he murmured.
"Ron, maybe we should let them talk alone," Hermione said. Standing from the bed, she motioned for him to follow. Reaching down, she squeezed Draco's hand; he simply nodded shortly. While she passed Harry, she patted his shoulder.
The sound of the door being closed filled the silent room.
"What was it like?" Harry questioned.
"You don't want to know," Draco replied, shaking his head. Climbing off the bed, he paced the room.
"Tell me," Harry pleaded.
Without answering, Draco simply walked faster, turning his head back and forth.
"Tell me,"He shouted. "I want to know!"
"No," Draco yelled. Stopping, he turned to him, his face red and clenched. "It's only going to hurt you."
"How can it hurt me?" Harry jumped off the cot; he stomped towards his brother, shoving him. "I didn't get to see them! I never got the chance to talk to them, Draco!"
"I know!" With stiffened shoulders, he turned his head away. "Do you really want to know what they were like?" He looked back at him. "Do you really want to know how it felt?" His voice broke. "To know how much they care. How good it felt to be held by them?"
Shoving Harry back, he stared at him. "Huh? Do you want to know what it's like not to have them now? Not to have mum and dad tell me they always loved me. To hear them say they knew I would be an incredible son." Shaking his head, he wiped at the stream of tears falling from his eyes. "You don't know how much this hurts."
"I know it hurts not to have them," Harry said through clenched teeth. "I've known what I was missing for sixteen years."
"No you haven't." Draco sighed, sadly. [pgbr]"You have no idea what you were missing." Running his hands over his face, he swallowed. "You don't know what they're like. You don't know how they sound or what it feels like to be right in front of them. To be so close, you can actually touch them. You can't remember their hugs or the way mum looks when she smiles." He let all of his air out in a heavy exhale. "You don't know them."
"I know enough to love them," Harry shouted, shoving him away. "I know that I wanted to meet them. That it's all I've ever wanted!"
"I know that," Draco yelled. "Don't you think if I could've given that to you, I would have?" Lifting his hands up to his chest, he pointed at himself. "Do you think I wanted to die? Do you think I wanted to leave here so I could meet them?" Reaching out, he pushed his brother back again. "You think I left here thinking that seeing them would be better than being here with you? With Hermione?"
Twisting his face into anger, Harry glared at him. "I think you were happy to be there. I think you got something you didn't even deserve."
"Didn't deserve?" Draco nodded, looking down to the ground. "No, I didn't deserve it. Because I'm just a Death Eater's son, right?" Stepping forward, Draco stared into his brother's eyes with deadly anger. "I'm not a Potter," he snarled. "I'm not your brother, or Lily and James son. I'm Lucius'. Right?"
Staring at him, Harry simply clenched his jaw.
"Go ahead, say it." His eyes thinned, viciously. "Say my name, Harry. Draco Malfoy. Right? That's who you still think I am." His voice was loud and pained.
Looking away, Harry grimaced.
"Say it," Draco screamed at him. Grabbing Harry's shirt, he pushed him back until he was against a wall. "Say my name!"
"It's Jamie!" Harry shouted. "James Potter, just like out father."
His breathing was labored, his face was red and contorted in dissipating anger. Draco slowly let his brother go. "Then why didn't I deserve this?" he asked, staring at him searchingly.
"I wanted them," Harry told him, angrily. "I wanted my parents. For sixteen years, I lived with a family that hated me! All I ever wanted was my mum and dad."
"They're mine too," Draco reminded. Pulling away, he leaned his back against the wall, sliding down it, he sat on the floor. Wrapping his arms around his legs, he placed his forehead against his knees.
"You had a mother," Harry said, his voice low. "You had someone who truly loved you."
"And I lost her!" Staring up at him with broken eyes, Draco's mouth curled into a grimace.
The room fell into a turbulent silence.
Sliding down the wall, Harry sat beside his brother. "I want to know what it was like," he told him. "To really have them."
"It's going to hurt you," Draco said. "It's only going to make you want them more."
"I still want to know," he replied, quietly.
Sighing loudly, Draco closed his eyes. Licking his lips, he opened his mouth but no sound came out. Leaning his head back against the wall, he blinked a few times. "It was incredible," he breathed. Smiling briefly, he thought back to the moment he died.
It was warm; the light that encased him. He couldn't see anything but yellow and white surrounding him. For a moment, it almost felt like he was blind but then colour swarmed him.
There was a tall brown stone house in front of him. Welcoming green grass covered the front yard, on each side of the cement walkway leading to the door. Flowerbeds were filled with dozens upon dozens of various plants. A white picket fence ran around the yard; a common mark of a family home.
Walking hesitantly though the gate and following the path, he raised his hand to knock on the white door. Before his hand reached the wood, the entrance opened of its own accord. Stepping inside, his eyes scanned the area before him.
Hardwood floors ran through the spacious house. An elegant set of stairs ran up the side of the wall, leading to the second floor. To one side was a homely living room, a small blue couch and armchair adorned it. A small fireplace sat on one side of the area, beside a tall and wide bookcase.
On his other side, the sunlight poured into a sweet dining room. A round table was set in the middle, four chairs surrounding it. An entranceway led to a warm kitchen. It wasn't anything rich or showing of high society. It was a real home, filled with the things a normal family would own.
Making his way up the stairs, he walked down the hall to the three doorways. Opening one, he stuck his head inside and looked around. Two small cradles sat in the center of the blue wallpapered bedroom. Small witches and wizards flew majestically around the walls; every once in a while they'd wave or smile at him. Moving over to look down at the small beds, he felt the smallest noise would ruin the soft silence around him.
Burgundy blankets and gold pillows lay on the bottom of the cribs. Small, stuffed brooms were leaning against the wooden bars. Instead of a mobile hanging above, there was an on-going Quidditch game being played in the air. A small grin tugged at his lips.
A creak sounded in the background, turning Draco stared at the two people in front of him in shock. "Dad? Lily?" He turned back and forth between them.
"Son," James choked out, swallowing.
"My little Jamie," Lily cried, her eyes watering. Hurrying across the floor, she wrapped her arms around him.
Her soft red hair breezed across his neck. At first he was at a loss as to what to do. Before he could really comprehend his actions, his arms had wrapped around her small form. Holding her tightly, he felt her shake as she wept in his arms. She smelled lightly of spring flowers. His eyes fell closed; tears pricking their way to the surface.
Walking to them, James placed a hand against his wife's back and another on Draco's shoulder. He smiled but it fell away as he shook his head, his messy black hair falling all over. His face was swarmed with emotion; his hazel eyes became glossed behind his glasses. "We meant for you to have so much."
"I had enough," Draco told him, nodding. "I had my Mother."
Pulling away, Lily wiped her tears. "Narcissa?"
"Yes," Draco agreed.
"She was... good to you?" The beautiful woman asked, her mouth quivering. "She loved you?"
"Very much," he answered honestly.
"Good." Lily nodded shortly, her eyes falling shut. "Good," she breathed.
"But what of Lucius?" James asked.
Turning away, Draco simply shook his head.
"Oh Jamie," Lily murmured, sadly. "Please, tell me he didn't hurt you." She sniffled, her voice breaking.
"I'm fine," he told them. "Well, I was fine. Now, I guess I'm dead."
His parents simply looked at him mournfully.
"It wasn't Lucius," he told them. "It was Snape."[pgbr]
"Why?" James asked.
"It's a long story." Draco shrugged.
"What do we have but time?"
Sighing, Draco told them of his and Harry's latest adventure. The escapade that caused his death. The journey that ripped him away from his brother and Hermione. Sweet and lovely Hermione. Simply thinking of her made his heart tear.
Shaking her head, Lily sighed softly. "You've been through so much."
"Harry's been through more," he told them. "I bet he'd give anything to be here with you."
Reaching up, she cupped his cheek. "You and him became close, even after being separated for so many years." She shook her head. "I know you two hated each other for some time."
Draco frowned. "It was a hard thing to understand; an enemy becoming a brother."
"You two were the closest brothers possible as babies," James told him, grinning. "We could hardly separate you for even a minute."
"I guess things changed," he replied, sighing.
"You must miss him," Lily commented.
"I do," he agreed. "More than I knew I could."
"And her." She tipped her head to the side knowingly.
Looking up at his biological mother quickly, Draco simply stared.
"It only makes sense that you love her," she explained. "To give your life for someone you were raised to hate." She shook her head. "It must be terribly hard to be away from her."
Unable to speak, he nodded his head shortly. Tearing his watery eyes away, he stared at the cribs.
Inhaling deeply, James began walking around the room. "Your mum wanted the room to be less about Quidditch and more about learning."
Smiling briefly, Draco's eyes scanned the area once more. "I like it." Walking to a small white bookshelf, he kneeled down beside it. Pulling a few soft-cover, thin books out, he read the titles. The Wizard and his Broom, Brothers Who Follow Rules Get the Rewards, and Mommy Knows Best made him smile. Standing up, he held the last one out. "My Mother read this to me until I was five."
Looking at James, Lily's eyes crinkled.
"I'm sorry," Draco said, sorrowfully. "It's hard not to call her that."
"No, I understand." The red haired woman smiled slightly. "It's hard to love a woman you don't know."
Sighing, he looked away. "I don't know how to feel."
Clearing her throat, she tried to give him a reassuring smile. "When you were just a baby, you used to curl my hair around your tiny fingers," Lily told him. "Harry always stuck it in his mouth," she said, laughing. "But you, you'd just hold it tightly in your grasp. Like you were afraid that if you let go, I'd go away."
Smiling, Draco reached out and took a tendril of her hair. "I wish I had the chance to know you."
"I wish you did too," she whispered.
Staring at her for a moment, he was forced to look away when the emotional aspect was pulling at him too much. Changing the subject, he tried to feel more at ease. "I met Falesha," he told them. "She seems like a very kind woman."
"She is," Lily agreed. "She watched over you and Harry very carefully."
"My sister loved you both very much," James said. "Is she well?"
"As far as I can tell," Draco said. "She... took Sirius' death very hard."
"I see." He nodded, sadly.
"You didn't meet Sirius though, did you?" James asked.
Draco shook his head. "No. He died before I had the chance."
Walking to a window, he leaned against the wall and stared outside. "Things changed so much." Clenching his jaw, he glared at the floor. "I only had two months with Harry."
"How did you find out?" James asked.
"My Mother told me," he explained. "And then Lucius tried to kill me." He sighed, running his hand over his hair.
"Tried?" Lily questioned.
"My Mother stepped in front of his curse," he breathed.
Lily gasped, quickly covering her hand with her mouth. Shaking her head, her eyes fell closed.
Wrapping his arms around his wife, James looked at his son mournfully. "Seems the Dark side never stops killing those we love."
"Harry and I were supposed to stop Voldemort," he said, thinking back. "I was supposed to help bring him down and help the Light side win." Turning to them, his brow furrowed. "Why was I in the prophecy if I'm not even alive to see it through?"
"I'm afraid I don't have any answers to your questions," James said, honestly.
"You died for us," Draco said, quietly. "And I've failed. I should've fought harder. I should've lived so that I could make sure he didn't win."
"This isn't your fault," Lily told him sternly. "You've done nothing wrong. You died saving the person you love."
"It's how it's always been," James said simply. "For us, love is everything. Family, friends." He reached out, stroking his wife's cheek. "You and Harry were that which we loved most; we died hoping you'd be safe."
"We wouldn't have it any other way," Lily told him. "I'd die a million times for you and Harry to live." She shook her head. "My sons mean more to me than anything else." Her mouth curled into a smile, her eyes still wet and gleaming with love and sadness.
Holding their arms out, they beckoned Draco to them.
Walking slowly, he let them embrace him and finally permitted himself to feel. He let himself melt into their arms. He let their love pour over him. He allowed his parents to hold their son.
"They're all that I thought they'd be," Harry said, his voice soft and quiet. "Loving, welcoming, warm, and kind." He sighed, shaking his head. "What was it like? To have them hug you."
"It's hard to explain," Draco admitted. "It was comforting. Kind of like I was shielded from everything."
Nodding, Harry stared off at some distant point in the room. "And her smile?"
"It was beautiful," he said, grinning. "Sweet and warm. It amazed me just how much it made me happy." Turning to his brother, his smile fell away. "I'm sorry."
Looking back to Draco, Harry's brow furrowed. "Sorry for what?"
"I know you wanted to see them. I know that it must really hurt to know that I got what you wanted." He shook his head. "I meant what I said though, if I could've given it to you, I would have."
Nodding his head, Harry's jaw clenched for a moment. "I know."
"They really love you," he told him, sincerely.
"And you," he agreed. Standing up from the floor, Harry swallowed. "I'm not really up to talking about this anymore." Shaking his head, he stared at the door. "I'm sure Hermione really wants to see you, so maybe I should let her in."
Nodding, Draco stood up too. "Alright."
Walking to the door, Harry looked back at him. "I'm glad you're alive," he said. "I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't come back."
Looking down for a moment, Draco didn't know what to say. "I'm glad I'm back too."
With a short nod, Harry left through the Hospital Wing doors.
A short moment later, Hermione slowly made her way inside. Looking around uncertainly, she shifted back and forth on her feet.
Crossing the room, Draco wrapped his arms around her tightly. Closing his eyes, he simply melted against her. "I missed you," he told her. "Merlin, I missed you so much."
Sobbing against him, she couldn't speak. Her hands tightened in his hair and clutched at his shirt-covered back.
Pulling back, he stared down into her eyes. Cupping her cheek, he rubbed his thumb over her skin.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I'm so sorry."
"For what?" he wondered, confused. "You didn't do anything."
"First you die because of me, then I take you away from your parents and Narcissa." She shook her head.
"What are you talking about?" He shook his head. "That wasn't your fault. You didn't make Snape attack me."
"But you died because he wanted to kill me and you wouldn't let him." Her tears streamed down her face. "If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have died at all. You wouldn't miss them like you must now." She sobbed, inhaling gulps of air. "Then we tore you away from them. I tore you away from heaven."[pgbr]
Shaking his head vehemently, Draco tipped her head up to him. "You are my heaven."
Closing her burning eyes, Hermione's knees fell from beneath her.
Catching her, Draco held her up against him. Pressing his head against hers, he simply enjoyed the sensation of having her in his arms. "I love you," he whispered.
Tipping her head back, she stared into his hazel eyes. Leaning up, she pressed her lips against his in a soft, warm embrace. "I love you too," she said, softly.
Wiping her tears away with his thumb, he moved his face down for another kiss. This time, holding her mouth captive for much longer. Their lips tangled in a mixture of love and desperate need for one another. His fingers wrapped around her hair, while his other hand moved down to cup the curve of her neck.
Love is a complicated emotion. Draco had grown up knowing two things about it: his mother wanted it for him and he had been searching for it for quite some time. For a long while, he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to have it for himself. Love didn't seem to fit in with the ideal lifestyle of a Death Eater, which of course was what he was raised to be. But then she came into his life. Like an inconceivable dream, she had blown him away.
It wasn't just how beautiful she was. Though she held the face of an angel and the body of a masterpiece only an artist could truly capture. Her small curves, her sweet smile, the way her eyes lit up, made his heart swell with more than he could really comprehend.
Her mind and her bold nature were more to add to the ongoing list of why Draco couldn't help but love Hermione. Her grades were the highest, not only because she read every book imaginable, but because she strived to know everything. Though this had at one time been something he practically loathed about her, it had become something he truly admired.
Her laughter made him warm. It wasn't that feeling you get when you were around friends and all sharing a joke; it was more of a feeling that encased him. An emotion that only she achieved for him. Even in his darkest moments, he was sure that her happiness and joy in a simple laugh would pull him from any looming sadness that might have otherwise swarmed him.
When she held him, he felt better. He wasn't one for hugging; it seemed a stupid ritual that most people did when they felt they hadn't shown enough emotion or care for one another. He had only ever felt comfortable hugging his Mother. But Hermione, with her simple embrace held so much more than any of those other people who had tried before her. When everything seemed at a loss, her arms around him made it all seem less important.
It still surprised him that at one time he had hated her. Looking at her now, feeling her, he couldn't understand where the old and bitter emotion had come from. He couldn't remember how it felt to hurt her, hate her, or despise all that she stood for. It was as if those memories were that of the boy he used to be. Trapped inside a mind he no longer possessed. He wasn't that boy anymore, he wasn't anyone like that.
There was nothing but love and adoration for her inside him; he couldn't imagine life without her. In the time he had spent with his family, she had been in his mind constantly. Her brown eyes, her freckled nose, her warm smile. All he wanted, was to know that she would be his forever.
However, life is a tricky mess that never gives you all that you want. And Draco knew what had to happen. He died for her. Her life had already been threatened twice in the time he had left the Malfoy name behind. It had only been two months and the thought of her actually dying during one of the next attacks was just too much to bear. He wouldn't always be there to save her. Harry wouldn't always be around to shield her. Though Hermione was the smartest witch alive, there were ways for her to die that she couldn't stop.
It would be his fault. It would all be on him if she were to die. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if she was gone. He could hardly stand the thought of himself dying only because he knew he wouldn't have her. He was selfish in one way; he wanted her to live so he could love her. So he could spare himself from not having her; the pain that would surely take him over was more than he knew he could take. Another part of him said that he would disappear forever if he knew she'd be alright. He'd live in a sorrow filled depression but at least he'd find comfort in knowing that she was still alive.
He knew what was going to happen. He was no psychic; no Sybil Trelawney. He was a boy who understood that life was never what he wanted it to be. He had already lost all those that mattered to him. He'd already lost his parents, his Mother, his friend. He couldn't lose her too. His logic had its flaws though. In not losing her, he would have to keep her at a distance. He'd have to push her away, deny his love, and let her move on.
Thinking back now, he regretted telling her of his true feelings. He regretted those warm moments in front of the fire or reading poetry. Friendship was one thing, but loving someone for eternity, that was something he knew he had with her. There was no way to know she'd live unless he let her go. He had to keep her safe; above all else, her life ranked highest.
Moving his mouth away from hers, he placed small kisses against her skin. He was glad her eyes were closed, that way she couldn't see the tears stained his face. His mouth ran across her cheek and up to her temple. Down the side of her face, beneath her ear, lowering over her sweet neck. She was still wearing her dress from the ball, leaving her shoulders bare and free for his mouth to roam.
Her head tipped back, giving him access to anything he wanted. Her hands wrapped around his shoulders, his biceps, trying to keep herself upright. Swallowing against his heated mouth, her mind was a haze of want. She shivered as he ran his finger down the center of her back.
His warm mouth ran across her chest, above the rim of her green dress. Stopping in the middle, he moved his lips upward. Over her neck, nibbling at the soft skin, across her jaw, and hovering before her mouth again. Pecking it lightly, he stared at her for a moment. His hand tipped her head up, her eyes fell open. "Say it again," he asked quietly.
Staring at him with watery eyes, she whispered. "I love you."
There were no sweeter words to be spoken. Even though it was what he had longed to hear since his Mother had explained the beautiful emotion, it broke his heart. There was nobody else who could ever mean more to him than her. There was no one in the world that would ever compare to her. For that, he had to deny himself the one woman who would make him eternally happy. But not now, not this moment; this moment was theirs. He would deal with the ramifications of his actions afterwards.
Walking them towards the door, Hermione held his hand tightly. They walked in silence, he knew where they were headed. Standing before the portrait to the Head Common Room, she said the password and they walked inside.
Making her way to his bedroom, she sat down on his bed. Pulling him down to sit beside her, she kept her eyes locked on his. Running her hand through his hair, she let it rest on his neck, her fingers were still tangled in the dirty blonde strands. "Make love to me Draco," she asked, her eyes staring into his searchingly.