"Jaycie are you okay?" I said after hearing a loud slam from where she had went. When I heard no reply I got worried. I saw Emma glance at me out of the corner of my eye.
"I think I should go. She seems distressed." She whispered before standing up. I nodded gratefully and follow suit, following her to the door.
"Well it was nice meeting you." I said politely giving her a hug.
"You too, you really made my night. Good luck with your writing, I'm looking forward to hearing the next album." she said with a genuine smile. I nodded once more and closed the door behind her before turning to face what seemed to be a much bigger, growing problem. Jaycie Lane.
"Jaycie, are you alright?" I asked again walking to the bunks of our bus. It was dark but I could see Jayie's small frame hunched over the side of her bed.
"I'm fucking fine William." She said sharply. I sighed as I kneeled down beside her.
"No your not." I could barely see the glimmer of tears running down her cheeks in the dark as she raised the bottle of whatever liquor she had found to her lips.
"Then why don't you tell me what my fucking problem is?" She said hoarsely wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
"I don't know, that why I'm worried about you. What's going on?" I pulled the bottle away from her mouth as she tried to down the rest only earning me a venomous glare followed by a heavy sigh.
"Matt....he....we broke up. He said he needed some time for himself. He said I've changed, that I'm not the same person anymore. But really we all fucking know it's him who's changed he just wants to be able to join in the fuck games." She said bitterly. I sighed waiting for what I knew was coming. Jaycie isn't hateful by nature, I knew she was just covering up how she really felt and I knew it was all about to fall apart in front of me. I could feel it.
"Jace, you know you're so much better than that. I told you, everyone warned you what was going on-"
"I know! I'm just too fucking stupid to listen right?! I deserve all of it!" she yelled cutting me off.
"That's not what I meant Jace....I just, god, You know you're better than him. I mean look at you! You're fucking beautiful and smart and when you get embarrassed you giggle and it's adorable. It him who too fucking stupid. He doesn't know what he's missing." I said finally taking the bottle completely away from her as she wiped her eyes again. She sniffed as she looked up from the floor at me, her eyes completely sincere.
"You make me sound so great-" She stopped and sniffed again dropping her eyes to the floor, "But why can't anyone love me?"
Once again Jaycie Lane had managed to stump me. I knew there was no good answer I could give to that question. No words that rolled off the tip of my tongue would truly satisfy her, because really the only words that could save her now would be the three I have never been able to bring myself to say to anyone and really mean it. Luckily, the alcohol really started to set in as the silence fell over us only broken by Jaycie's soft quite voice.
"William, lay with me tonight."
She was asleep by time I laid down next to her but I stayed because I knew she needed me, even if she was asleep. She needed me more than anything right now.
As I laid there in the dark I couldn't help but keep thinking how Matt could have ever done that to her. For as long as I could remember she had always been there for me. She listened to me whine about my life and never complained. She kept up with everything I did. In high school she made sure we were both passing our classes even if it meant staying up with me all night writing a term paper just so I could get a good grade. She never fell out or let me down. I guess I had never really thought of it then, but I needed her. She had never really needed me before. She usually took care of herself.
I sighed as I looked down at her petite body lying beside me. Her face was pale and she had lost quite a bit of weight since warped started. Her dark tangled hair spilled across her pillow. She was quite a mess, but this time I don't think she'll be able to fix herself on her own.
♥
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