|25| All The Wounds That Are Ever Gonna Scar Me |Gerard Way|

"Angie! Come dance with me!"

You look over at Ray waving you over frantically, and merely shake your head with a smile, sipping the punch that Gerard retrieved for you.

"Come on!" Ray begs, Taylor, Brian, and Frank laughing behind him.

You sway your head once more and Ray sighs, turning to dance with Frank and Taylor. Very...stupidly. Stupid meaning that he raises his arms and tries to shake his entire body all at once. You laugh, turning your green eyes to Gerard.

It's the night of the Senior Dinner Dance and really, you've been having the time of your life. You look gorgeous, and Gerard is actually wearing something to match you; a rented black tuxedo with a forest green vest underneath, a black tie around his neck. Your hair is done in spiral curls, loops of black framing your perfectly clear and ashen face. Gerard cleaned up nicely, his slightly long hair pushed away from his face, his hazel eyes smiling down at you as he himself sips some punch.

The gym is nicely decorated, the theme Mardi Gras. The colors are green, purple, and gold, streamers and paper mache figurines hanging from the ceiling. Everyone was provided with masks at dinner time, which has long since passed. You've discarded your's by now, hindered by holding it while trying to dance. It's around ten o'clock now, the dance ending in an hour, and the last evening you will spend with all your senior friends. God. Time has passed so fast.

"Hey babe," Gerard suddenly pecks your cheek, setting his drink down on the food table. "I'm going to go outside for a smoke with Bob. I'll be right back."

You smile up at Gerard and nod, watching him walk off his with friend, who had been standing behind him. Sighing lightly, you place your own empty drink down and turn towards the dance floor, deciding that you will take Ray up on his offer.

"Finally!" Ray says happily, grabbing your hand and immediately pulling you into a twirl. "God! Took you long enough to get away from him!"

You laugh, your emerald dress swirling with your small body, made taller than usual by the black, strappy heels on your feet. You fall into Ray's arms and begin to dance along with him to the song, a No Doubt tune.

"Having a good time?" Kayla asks over the music, dancing nearby with Mikey.

"Yeah, I guess." you answer, grinning. You were having the time of your life. "I think it would be better if some afro-ed loser would stop crushing me though."

"Afro-ed LOSER?!" Ray asks in a threatening tone, dipping you backwards, your head dangling inches above the floor. You squeal and try to keep your footing, screaming at Ray to put you back on your feet, choking back laughter. "My 'fro ain't nothin' yet! I'm growin' this bitch out!"

"RAY! Get me UP!" you yell at him, your face red with laughter, your body straining to stay in Ray's arms.

"Take it back!"

"No!"

"TAKE IT BACK!"

"FINE! I take it back!" you shriek, just as you lose your footing. Ray puts you on your own two feet and you double over laughing, Taylor, Brian and Kayla doing the same.

"I hate you!" you tell Ray playfully, smacking his chest. "Don't do that again!"

Ray puckers his lips and plants a sloppy kiss on your forehead, causing your friends to laugh harder. "You love me, peaches."

You smile up at your best friend and then suddenly pull him into a tight embrace, your arms wrapping around his thin waist almost wholly.

"I do."

Curiously you peek into every room you come across, your heels clicking with every step you take. Did he leave? You think to yourself, raising an eyebrow as you come upon the front doors. They harbored nothing but darkness, nothing but night to your eyes.

You frown, stopping before the front doors of your school, peering out into the night. There were people walking towards the doors, a lot of people, but you couldn't quite see who. You stay where you are, curious, as they head to the school.

Your eyes widen when they focus on Gerard's body, just outside the doors, laughing, Bob next to him, as well as four other guys and two other girls. You frown then, watching as he comes through the doors, looking a bit disheveled, his laughter dying as he turns his head to face you.

"Where'd you go?" you ask Gerard, causing everyone to stop in the lobby, all eyes on you. Gerard falls speechless and immobile, looking at you, not knowing what to say.

"Where did you go?" you annunciate a bit louder, feeling yourself heat up. Why did he ditch you to hang out with his loser friends? Two of which were girls? Jealousy flares.

"I'll see you guys back in there." Gerard says to his friends and your jaw falls slack, a deeper scowl on your face. Though, as if he is their leader, they nod and move toward the gym, talking amongst each other in silent whispers. All except Bob. Your eyes flicker to him.

"Gerard I---"

"I'll see you in there Bob." Gerard says, looking at you before lifting his hazel eyes to his friend, standing beside him.

"Gerard---"

"Go Bob."

You watch in annoyance as Bob leaves slowly, looking as though he doesn't want to. He appears scared for some reason and you know something is up. You redirect your attention to Gerard, keeping your temper under control; something you learned in rehab on the side. Control your anger, don't be quick to judge.

"Where were you?" you ask once more, Gerard standing a few paces before you. You two are alone in the bright lobby, the only sounds coming from the pumping base in the gym.

"Out with Bob. Getting a smoke."

"I'm not an asshole, Gerard, a smoke doesn't take that long." you say flatly, crossing your arms now.

"We had to go buy some. We met Jake and the others in the parking lot because they said the dance was lame so they came with us." Gerard explains with a careless shrug.

Unless I can prove otherwise, I have to believe him. You think to yourself, narrowing your green eyes at Gerard. "All right, well, come on, the others are waiting for you."

You turn your back to Gerard and start to walk down the tiled hallway, heels clicking with each step you take. After a few steps you realize Gerard is not beside you and turn to find him walking behind you. So you stop and wait. And oddly enough, he comes to your side reluctantly.

I guess I made him angry. You think, extending out and taking his hand when he's in reach. You give his hand a reassuring squeeze and your love a small smile as he looks down at you, both on your way to the gym.

"Hey, it's okay, I trust you, I just wish you would've told me." you tell Gerard, your fingers locked with his own. His fingers are wrapped loosely within yours and as you gaze up at him, he keeps his head down, his averted. He appears almost guilty. And he says nothing.

You frown. God he must've smoked a whole pack. You think, the stench-- Ohmygod. There's more than just the odor cigarettes on Gerard. And you know exactly what it is.

"You went drinking?!" you nearly scream, ripping your hand from Gerard and taking a step back from him, eyes blazing.

Gerard freezes and looks at you, seemingly scared. He opens his mouth, and then closes it again. He's been caught. You explode.

"You promised you would stop! Do you not remember what happened last time? You said you would stop Gerard! You said you would stop!" you yell, more disappointed than upset.

"It was only a sip I---"

"Only a sip? Only a sip?! Things can still happen with only a sip, Gerard!"

"Angie I---"

"I don't want to hear your excuses, I'm sick an---"

"You don't understand Angela! You just don't! It's so hard to give it all up!" Gerard suddenly yells, his face contorting in anger. "When you were away from me it got so hard to bear it and I started drinking again and now it's just so hard to quit! It doesn't happen overnight!"

You fall silent, Gerard's voice ringing in your ears. You stare at him through vacant eyes that are slowly filling with realization. You know what it's like to try and get over an addiction. And here you are being a hypocrite.

"I'm sorry Gerard." you utter quietly, bowing your head in shame. "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

A scuffed and tattered shoe meets your vision and then a hand appears, cupping your chin to lift your face. Gerard's shoe. Gerard's hand. Your vision collides with his own and he looks down at you, apprehension etched into his slimming features.

"No. You were right. I need to stop and what I did tonight didn't help my cause." he tells you, his voice soft, his caress even softer.

"Gerard..."

He silences you with a gentle kiss, so tender, so full of love. A moment later you two separate and you can't help but ask, "For me?"

Gerard nods, pulling you into his arms for a tight embrace. "For you."

It's almost eleven thirty by the time Gerard pulls into his own driveway in Mikey's car, the younger boy half asleep in the backseat and you nodding off in the passenger's. You're not tired, but your body feels so.

"Mikey." Gerard says, opening up his door and stepping out. "Wake up, we're home."

You smile as Mikey wakes, yawning widely and grumbling, wondering aloud why he couldn't just sleep in his car. You follow Gerard out of your seat and he waits for you to reach him before slipping an arm over your shoulders, leading you to the door, leaving Mikey to fend for himself. You lean your head on Gerard's shoulder and sigh, closing your eyes as he guides you.

"Tired, baby?" he asks, opening his front door. It's dark inside, save for the flicker of the blue hue from the TV screen in the living room.

"Not really." you answer, walking straight by the living room with Gerard, Donna and Donald both huddled on the couch inside and sleeping under an afghan. Mikey closes the door behind him and then follows you two upstairs for the night, walking slowly.

"G'night Mikey." you call to him softly before entering Gerard's dark room, pictures and drawings lining the walls.

You sigh again and Gerard already has his shirt over his head, discarding it to the floor. You move to his dresser to pull out some clean clothes to sleep in, moving silently, smiling through the darkness.

Dropping a pair of boxers and a tee shirt to the floor, you step back and ask, "Gerard can you unzip me?" You look over your shoulder at him and see his pale face smile, then nod, as he walks to you.

"Did you have a good time?" he asks, his cold fingers attaching to the metal zipper running along the spine of your back.

"I had a wonderful time. Thank you for taking me. I know you usually don't like going to those kind of things." you tell Gerard, watching the front of your dress as it sags, the material from the back becoming loose.

Gerard slips his arms around your waist and places his chin on your shoulder, tilting his head so his lips meet your neck. "I'll take you anywhere you want to go." he answers, and you smile.

Your dress slides from your body and Gerard's lips continue to stroke the angel-soft skin of your neck. You blush crimson, feeling your stomach begin to knot. Just like it used to when you first started having feelings for this man.

"And I'd follow you anywhere you'd want to take me."

Sunlight filters through the windowpane, caressing your eyelids, tempting you to open your eyes the next morning. Instead you moan softly and roll over, burying your head into the chest of your lover. In response he, having been awake for a while now, smiles and embraces you tightly, looking down upon you.

"Good morning beautiful." Gerard's voice breaks the blissful silence a few moments later, his rough hands gliding over the skin of you bare back, the rest of your body in the same situation, as is Gerard's.

"How was your night?" His voice clears, and the smile remains. "Mine was wonderful, with you by my side." You smile into Gerard's chest as you hear his voice now carry a sweet melody.

"And when I open my eyes, and see your sweet face, it's a good morning, beautiful day."

You lift your head, your emerald eyes shining, and look at Gerard, your hands dancing down to find his own, to wrap your fingers in his. "That was beautiful."

Gerard smiles and leans down to kiss your forehead, moving closer to you slightly, his nude body now pressed fully to your own. "No, you're beautiful." he says, and you blush, looking down. "I thought you would like that."

"I did." you sigh, leaning your head onto his chest, your arms wrapping around his middle. "You're perfect Gerard, I love you so much."

Gerard smiles, stroking your thick, raven locks, and then moves to hold you closely once more. "I love you too Ang."

"I'm home." you call, closing your front door behind you. It's after lunch, and you've just come home from Gerard's house, still dressed in his clothes, carrying your dress over one arm and your shoes in the other.

"Angela!" Your mom practically comes racing into the hallway from the kitchen, your father behind her. "Where's Brian?"

You frown and shrug, removing your sneakers from your feet by the front door. "I dunno. Why?"

Pam and Ron exchange looks and you notice now that both look uneasy and worried. "He didn't come home last night." your father says.

You shrug again. "Don't worry about him, he's a big boy, he'll show up sometime." Your mother still looks high-strung, her hands writing together in front of her. "Mom, trust me. Brian is fine."

Your mother and father look at each other once more as you stroll by them smiling and humming. He's probably at Taylor's. They were pretty close all night last night at the dance. Man, I can't wait to razz them about that.

Up the stairs and into your brightly lit room you go, still humming "Good Morning Beautiful". You throw your dress on your bed and your shoes to the floor, before falling back onto your bed and closing your eyes, letting out a giggle.

I love him. You think, rolling onto your stomach and nuzzling your face into your crimson comforter. I love him so much.