Your Supervillian Weakness!

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Created by Leftomaniac on 05/07/2008

Take the Your Supervillian Weakness! quiz.

You wake up, which is something you like to do in the mornings, (you're crazy like that.) What's the first thing you do?

Feed your hamsters and bunny rabbits, (can't be trusting idiot minions with important stuff like this,) making kissy faces at th Scream, *Wahahaha! I am INVINCIBLE!* Check last night's security tapes, brief your underlings on their day's duties, then have a little *me time.* Peel the underwear of several different people off your face. Ye Gods, no wonder you feel exhuasted. Last night you set out stuff for coffee. You pour coffee, milk and sugar. You've taken a few gulps when you realize there wasn't Stroll through your tourture dungeon to raise your spirits. You love the smell of bile in the morning. Say, *Ahh, what a perfect day to begin my laser-weasel assasin experiment. Eheheheh!*

As you flip through the paper, you cackle with glee to see there's an account of your latest crime against humanity. What does the headline for it say?

Millions killed, confused by exploding umbrellas. Entire town destroyed, animal shelter spared. More mutilated bodies found, policemen nauseous. UN Ambassadors murdered in sleep, police baffled. Business disrupted as unknown person runs in and screams *I am INVINCIBLE!* Shocking pictures of U.S. Senators sent to the Times, Senators claim blackmail. Dud bomb found in White House; bomber forgot to connect red wires.

You hear a crash and look up. Aww, crap, it's that fucking hero again! You cry, How did you get past my guards?! (S)he replies...

I used the back door. You killed your guards last night, remember? I told them strychnine was an aphrodisiac. You need smarter guards. It wasn't easy, I'll say that much. I hid in a truck of squeeky toys. As your guards are cheifly gorillas with electronic brain implants, it wasn't difficult outsmarting them. You don't have any guards. You're just standing on your lawn, screaming, *I am INVINCIBLE!*

The hero looks you straight in the eye, saying, This is your last chance to mend your evil ways. You...

Laugh and open the trap door under him. Laugh and open the trap door... two feet away from where he's standing. Damn. Hook one leg around his/her waist and suggest (s)he teach you how to be *real good.* Scream, *Never! I am INVINCIBLE!* Laugh. Continue laughing for a long time. A disturbingly long time. So long that the hero eventually gets bored and leaves. Cont Smile as if you've just seen the light. Then scream, *Kill!* and have your ferret rip his eyes out. Lunge at him with your breakfast fork. What a great way to start the day!

The two of you fight. What's your strategy?

Go for the eyes... and groin. Stand there screaming, *I am INVINCIBLE!* until he goes away. Fight with the ferocity of a cat. But not the cute kind. Like, a tiger or something... then again, tigers are pretty cute too... Snap your fingers, summoning many disposable henchmen to take care of him. No reason to put yourself in danger out of pride. Pelt him with oranges! Sweet, sweet oranges made of NAPALM! Fwahahahaha! Celebrate your victory by eating ORANGES! IT BURNS!!! You fistfight. And you do a really, really good job until he pulls out his gun. Hold him at knifepoint and suggest they make love, not war.

So, somehow, you get rid of him. How do you celebrate?

Tell your henchmen that you are INVINCIBLE! Ignore their sighs and rolling eyes. Tell your henchmen it's time for them to be disciplined... *Mwahahaha...* Tell your henchmen it's time for them to be, ahem, *disciplined.* Chicka-boom... Tell your henchmen to not disturb you for the next couple of hours... can't let any of them find out your watching a Disney movi Tell your henchmen their work has been substandard and deplorable. Ignore their mutinous expressions. Tell your henchmen their work has been substandard and deplorable. Bask in their adoring gazes. Tell your henchmen it's *Fish Slapping Day,* then watch the security cameras.

Then, just when your guard is down, the hero bursts out of nowhere, injects you with a paralysis drug and ties you up! Damn! What are you going to do now?

Tell the hero you're deeply remorseful for your evil ways, and willing to accept your punishment. As an act of goodwill, you wan Try to do the aforementioned thing, but suddenly realize the paralysis drugs have paralyzed your jaw and tongue, duh. Chew his ankles off. If you're going to jail anyway, might as well make him suffer too. Chew his ankles off. Not out of any desire to hurt him. You just wanted to chew some ankle! See if the two of you can't come to some sort of agreement... Chicka-BOOM... Give him the 'ol puppy eyes until he lets you go. Then kill him. Scream, *This cannot be! I am INVINCIB-* ...Get knocked out with a lead pipe.

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About this Quiz

Created by: Leftomaniac on 11/26/2003
Last Modified on: 05/07/2008
Taken: 55 times

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