Shoes In The Mailbox

"Henry, what time is it?"
"I don't know honey, I'll check and see."
He smells his armpit to check the time.
"Oh, Ethel, it's five minutes past three."
"Well then we're late" Ethel says as she hobbles to the door.
"Where are my teeth?" Henry asks in a slur.
"I told you earlier, they're in the cabinet beside the can-opener."
"Why are they there? Oh who cares. I need my daily starch."
"Just so you know I was using them... I lost my set last March..."
"Never mind" Henry says with a sigh. "Ethel, don't go out the door, you need more than socks on your feet."
"I'm going to get my shoes you stupid old man, oh for the love of Pete."
"But your shoes are right here, beside the door!"
"Not the one's I'm looking for!"
Ethel walks to the mailbox and pulls out her sandals.
"Now what time were we supposed to meet Sydney and Randal?"
"At three-thirty dear, but what in the world,
why were your shoes in there?"
"For Heaven's sake, must I tell you again,
I put them there to scare off the squirrels..."
"Ok..." Henry murmurs as they get in the car.
They sit there a minute, and forget where the are.
"Oh Henry, what time is it again?" Ethel asks again.
He smells his armpit to check the time.
"Oh great, now it's twenty passed nine."