Regret

Laying down, thinking if I should do it or not.
Not even sure if I can hold myself not to.
No ones at home, I know exactly were the gun is hidden.
Just like that, I could end this wasteful life.

Walking dwon the hallway to my mothers room.
Reaching in the drawr, feeling the gun in my hand.
Carefuly studing it, hoping I have the stregth to pull the trigger.
I just cant take this anymore, its killing me inside!

Going back to my room, to write my final good-byes,
Praying everyone will forgive me, I hope they do.
The tears start to stream down my face, only proving that I'm weak.
Placing the barrel in my mouth and suddenly the tears stop.

Then I hear a high pitch scream, could it of been mine?
seeing my mother falling to her knees, screaming in pain.
All I want to do in comfort her, ask her whats wrong.
But she doesn't seem to hear me at all, like I'm not there.

Asking her again, beging and pleading for her to answer me.
Realizing then, that I don't want to die.
I need to be here, for my mother, so she won't be all alone.
Now I have a reason to live, to keep moving foward, for her.

But it's much to late for that.
For I have already pulled the trigger.
Instantly taking my presious life from me.
Already regretting it completly.