The War Inside

I am walking down such a cold and lonely road,
it is one of which the path cannot end.
The power to keep going is hurting me,
its stripping me of all hope.
the strength I try to have,
seems to only weaken me.
I always watch how I so easily fall,
how I am causing the pain myself.
My life is onlykept aliveby some small hope,
and that hope is fading.
It seems as if I am losing everything,
even the will to hold on longer.
My power,
the strength I thought I had,
is now only a false will,
I cannot catch myself from falling any longer,
the net that always keeps me from continuing,
is now getting thinner,
the threads are becoming weaker,
and each small stitch is loosening.
Next time it will not catch me,
it cannot,
it will just send me downspiriling to nothing,
I will keep falling lower and lower,
then land hard on the ground,
and when I cannot get back up again,
I will have lost the war ongoing throughout my entire body.
My heart will finally shatter,
and soul will slip through my hands.
Its as if trying to catch smoke,
it always seeps in through the cracks,
then dissapears completely.
The battle I have been trying so hard to win,
is finally winning against me,
I am losing the will for everything.
Its soldiers stab at those hopes I'v tried to keep alive,
they go through my dreams and corrupt them,
they taint my heart with hate and pain,
crushing me.
It makes the blood running through me turn black,
turning me as dark as its color.
It pulses through me,
corrupting every single happy thing left in me.
It steals away the love I have finally found in everything.
The only known emotion is hate.
It flows through my whole heart,
and through my mind.
I tear at myself,
scarring myself with with the pain I caused myself.
I want to redeem my innocence,
fix all those shattered pieces of my heart.
Bring back those dreams and make them a reality.
Take away everything I believe myself to be.
I am living a lie,
I am drenched in them.
I supress myself into hiding everything I am,
But I want to break free,
let it all go,
take off the mask everyone sees.
But I am forced into it,
It can never be lifted,
as well as the sadness and pain I feel.
they will never relieve themselves from me.
I am bruised by all their doings.
The war inside will never be won,
it will continue on,
hurting my entire self,
taking over what I once owned.