I always told myself, “I’m not going to smoke like my mother”
And I did anyway…
I always told myself, “I’m not going to drink like my father”
And I did anyway…
I always told myself, “I’m going to leave this place once I’m 16”
And I never did…
I always told myself, “I’ll move in with my Aunt”
And I never did…
I always told myself, “It will get better soon”
And it never did…
I always told myself, “I can do this I can do this”
And I never could…
I smoked …because I wanted to know why my mother did it
I drank… because I wanted to see why my father came home drunk every night
I didn’t leave… because I didn’t want my sister to end up like me
I didn’t move in with my Aunt …because I don’t want to be a burden
It didn’t get better…because I didn’t make it so it would
And I couldn’t do it…because I probably didn’t try hard enough
