Your heart beats faster then ever
it feels like its going to explode
in you chest
it drops to your stomach
then your body gets weak
like you have to fight
to stay alive.
Your head is spinning now
and its hard to breath.
All you can do is
gasp for air
like a fish out of water
trying to stay alive
but it can not live
in this environment
it is not adapted enough
to live in this deadly enviornment.
you try to put you self together
but its as though
your a puzzle
with the wrong pieces
and some misssing.
as you try
pulling yourself together
your vision becomes
blurry and
you understand the reason now.
tears started gathering
in your eyes.
you wipe them
and look in the mirror
your blue eyes
they look dark as night
and as dead as
a swirling black dark abyss
of nothingness.
you are consumed
in your own fear,
pain,
confusion,
self pity,
weakness and
a darkness
that creeps
in the most
deepest parts
of your soul
.it eats you
and tears you up alive.
you try with all your strength
to think of what to do.
but since this all feels
worse then a nightmare
you cant get yourself
from the thought of this
has to be a dream.
you cant grip your self ,
pull your self
from this living nightmare.
it kills you slowly,
like it seems
to know everything
about you.
touching you
as you draw in every next breath.
making sure
you hate every
last moment of your life.
it holds you down
putting pressure
taking your life
slowly carefully away.
making sure
when you die
everything dies with you,
getting every particle,
every little piece of you.
it kills you
like if every thought
of your existence
makes it sick
and furious as
it steals your life away.
