Maybe if you had realized,
What I had been planning,
Then you’d have done something,
Something more than what you did.
If you had know my thoughts,
If you had understood my needs,
If you had actually paid attention,
You’d have seen my plans.
If you had heard me crying,
In my room at night,
Silently screaming for help,
You’d have heard my plans.
If you had seen the pain I’d suffered,
Physically and emotionally,
If you would take it seriously,
Then maybe you’d have known my plans.
Your attempt to help me,
Was nothing more than hurting me,
You tried to help the wrong problem,
You’d have seen the truth.
You searched for my problem,
And assumed I just didn’t care any longer,
If you had paid attention,
You’d have realized what I was plotting.
I told this stranger everything,
I even told him how you treated me,
He told me nothing,
Except he asked what bothered me.
“It’s obvious!” I yelled,
I thought that he could tell,
That if I told him anything,
He was sure to know.
Now I tell this stranger,
What you’ve put me through,
They asked me no questions,
Just said to tell them how I felt.
I’ll tell them what I need,
I’ll tell them what I want,
I’ll tell them all my plans,
I’ll not tell any of it to you though.
I told them you had driven me here,
Into the state I’m in,
Numbness or depression,
Only time will tell.
.
He says I’m suicidal,
But I strongly disagree,
I merely wish for death,
To slowly creep it’s way upon me.
