Not the Normal Kind of Regret

I regret ever meeting you.

I regret getting to know you.

I regret letting you kiss me.

I regret kissing you back.

But it’s not the normal kind of regret.

When I met you I wanted to get to know you.

When I got to know you I wanted you to kiss me.

When you kissed me I did as I wanted and kissed you back.

Now I regret it all.

But it’s not the normal kind of regret.

With each kiss I wanted more.

With each hug I never wanted to let go.

With each simple glance I couldn’t look away.

Now I regret wanting anything from you at all.

But it’s not the normal kind of regret.

I regret ever liking you.

I regret getting close to you.

I regret letting you know me.

I regret having sex with you.

But it’s not the normal kind of regret.

Do you wish to know why I regret all of this?

It’s because being with me won’t be good for you.

I’m trying hard not to hurt you, but I know somehow I’ll do it anyway.

I love you, I care about you, and I don’t want to lose you.

The regret I feel is not the normal kind of regret.

I hate missing you as much as I do.

I hate dreaming about you every night.

I hate waking up and knowing you aren’t next to me.

I hate waiting for you to sign on, just to say ‘hi’.

And as you can tell it’s not the normal kind of regret.

I’m attached to you and I regret it.

December 25, 2007