Her

All these years apart, I guess you forgot.

I just wish you at least recognized me,

I guess you only saw her.

I had to find out myself, you wouldn’t tell me.

Who she was, or why you left.

She is the very image of what I wish to be,

You love her, and she loves you.

But she can never love you as much as I do.

You can’t tell, you will never see,

Yet I know in my heart, that I love you more than her.

I guess I lost my chance, and this is what I get.

I have to pretend I’m over you, they’ll never know.

I only want to see you once more, without her.

Every time I see that picture, of you together,

My heart tears in two again.

And I have to walk away, or I just might cry.

Gripping my books, hoping you’ll go away,

I just want to find peace.

Is she warmer than me, is she smarter?

Is she softer than me, is she better?

Is she more beautiful, her face never marred by tears?

Is she easier, her heart never even bruised?

I know I’m cold, but I just need you to heat me up.

I know my face will forever be scarred from tears,

And my heart has grown walls, thick as ice.

I just need you to wipe the tears away,

I promise you can break down the wall.

You built it, you know how to break it.

Why is my loving you such a bore, such a nuisance?

I know you have problems, I’m okay with that.

I know she’s perfect for you, but perfect is no fun.

Her wrists have never touched a blade.

Her smile has never been faked.

Her hands fit so perfectly in yours.

I guess it’s just a nightmare for you, to think of us together.

So, I’ve left you this letter.

If you ever read this, just remember.

I would have skipped to the moon for you,

Ran across the oceans to see you.

I hate you, I wish I’d never seen you.

I love you, I wish I could see your face.

And, I said all of this at three am,

After all those nights thinking of you.

(Don’t forget your teddy bear, I cherished so tight.

It helped me sleep at night.

Now, I’ve ripped it to shreds.