Selfish {Why can't I stop?}

I don't know why I keep your love
Near my heart,
Why I remain your dove
When I fear we'll be torn apart.
I shouldn't be happy when
You tell me you still love me
When I didn't choose you then.
How happy should I be?
That you still care
Even after I threw you away

How is it fair
That I couldn't ask you to stay
But I still hold on
To you with all I have
I can't bear if you're gone
The choice tore me in half
And yet I can't say goodbye
To you, the boy I couldn't choose, 
You're my best friend right? 
All I've done is lose. . . 
  
I know it isn't right 
To love you when I love him 
I think I'm losing sight 
Why can't I stop this flow of sin?   
I should let you go
So you can find
Someone else to love, a free soul
But time after time
I sit and wait
For what I don't want to come.

Maybe it was fate
That we would discover our love
When it was too late.
I can't be your dove
When all I think of is him.
I know I'm being selfish
And that this sin
Is making me hellish
And everything I've done
Is not for the better.
But I still can't stop
I'm too selfish. . . .