Love you, I Can't

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<3
I can't love you, not in day or in night.
I can't love you it wouldn't be right.
I shouldn't love you, it's just not fare.
I shouldn't love you, but why do I care?
I'm not suppose to miss you it'll make me weak.
I'm not suppose to miss you, for promises arn't easy to keep.
Love is what kills.
Love is what causes the spine to be infected with chills.
It makes me ill, it makes me sick;
The uncontrollable love I have for you that continues to thicken.
I try so hard, to not think about you.
I try so hard, because I know you don't think about me too.
I know it is she that you care for,
So why can't I just face it and walk out the door?
You're making it hard for me to breathe;
You're robbing my air, and inside of me I keep,
Keep the war I have with my mind and my heart;
I try to keep myself from thinking of you, for I know it will only rip me apart.
I don't want to be in love, it only causes pain;
& no matter what it always ends the same.
I'll be standing jacketless in the pouring rain.
I shouldn't close my eyes and see your face;
Your every word should be something that I can erase.
My stomach shouldn't fill with dizzy butterflies;
You shouldn't be all I think about at night.
You shouldn't be capturing my dreams;
It shouldn't be you I see when I sleep.
You don't love me.
I know it's not meant to be.
So why can't I erase your memory?
I'm not in love, it can't be true.
I wont say I am, not with you.
I shouldn't love someone that doesn't return the favor.
I'm on my knees begging for help, I need a savior.
I shouldn't smile when I hear your name;
I accuse myself, you are not the one to blame.
But I keep fighting and struggling, because this love is getting to deep,
& it's a secret I'll just have to keep. <33