I Betrayed Myself For You

I havn't written in a while, this one might be bad, but if you'd just read it I'd be GLAD!! Woo!! Rhyme time!
I've really liked this guy ever since we met which was like in kindergarden and the other night I had to give him advice about some other girl. And it killed me, but all I wanted was for him to be happy. So I wrote this poem..
You got it, duuuuuude!
Who is this girl?
Tell me who is she who tares apart my whole world?
The one that gave you away to someone else?
She lied awake that night crying begging for help.
But there was no help to be seeked
She felt her eyes begin to leak
Tears of frozen blood
She takes a gasp for air she's covered in the flood.
Who is she?
Someone tell me?
How can I look at her?
She's just a sickening bluur.
And I scream for help.
But I look into this mirror and realize that it's myself
And I can't believe I'd give you that advice.
That'd make me lie awake crying every night
You come to me and ask me about some other girl
And I feel my stomach want to hurl
And I knew what the right thing was to do
Though it could mean forever loosing you
Though what have I lost if I never really had you?
And I feel my sofocating heart begin turning blue
So I tell you to give it a try
And my feelings for you I continue to hide
Because I know you were never mine
Though I dreamed of it all the time
And though it kills me
I just want you to be happy
In this darkness filled with gloom
But you cannot see it, I am just fine, that's what you assume.
Left alone in the dark to cry
Feeling so left behind
And nothing seems right.
I was the one that was always there for you
I was the one that brought your gray skies back to blue
And she don't even know you
And you asked me for advice
So I did what I thought was right
I told you, to talk to her
And you don't know that you broke my heart; to you it's just a bluur.
All these years I've loved you so
And I betrayed myself and let you go
Into her arms
And I broke my own heart
Because I love you, but you love her
It makes me weak, and my stomach starts to stirr.
Friends... bloody friends that's all we'll ever be
And you are blinded and you can't see
How much you mean to me.
And I lie awake at night secretly wishing that it wont work out
I lie there eyes wide open, brokeness in my mouth.
And it's me to blame, it was my own betrayal
But you'll never love me, I've tried before and failed
You say if it ain't her, then it wont be anyone
And I fake smile and tell you she could be the one.
And you turn the other way and I grab a bullet filled gun.
Tempted to destroy myself, for the damage I have done.
You tell me that it means a lot to you that I care
But why can't you see further, see that there's more there?
I'll love you more then she ever will
And though it kills me, I love you still.
But will we ever be together?
Probably not, not ever.
How could it be when you are distracted by her?
You're the only one I've truly loved
But I decided to give up.
For I am not the one...