False Friend

I run the blade against my face
Like a long bony finger stroking my cheek
Its morbid comfort gives me chills
But at least it feels like someone else's touch

In this prison I have built
From my insecurities, fears and regrets
Its dark waters silent and still
As the few that cared no longer cross at all

The handle, solid and firm
Like someone else's hand in mine
Guiding me through this lonely world
My silent companion, who doesn't judge or lie

It almost seems to wink
The pale light glinting in it's knowing steel eye
Watching, waiting, daring me
To let my doubts go and trust but it alone

My shaking hand falters
I know I cannot let this false friend in
Its one agenda all too clear
Its one desire to break me even more

And even though I know the pain
Would be better than the emptiness I feel
These fortress walls grow higher still
So even pain can't reach me any more