I Pledge Allegiance

I pledge allegiance to the flag
Of the United States of Avarice
And to the oligarchy for which it stands
One nation, under the almighty dollar,
With liberty and justice for the privileged few.

I pledge allegiance to the flag
Of the United States of Apathy
And to the socialist state for which it stands
One nation, under man,
With liberty and justice for none.

I pledge allegiance to the flag
Of the United States of Division
And to the anarchy for which it stands
One nation, under no one, nothing,
With liberty and justice for those with guns.

I pledge allegiance to the flag
Of the United States of Elitism
And to the bureaucracy for which it stands
One nation, under many weak-willed men
With red tape and uncaring for all.

I pledge allegiance to the flag
Of the United States of Materialism
And to the hedonism for which it stands
One nation, under the heel of the industrial complex,
With bread and circuses for all.

I pledge allegiance to the flag
Of the United States of Once-It-Was, the United States of Once-It-Could-Have-Been,
And to the free, honest, strong republic for which it might have stood,
One nation, under God, indivisible, a beautiful dream,
With liberty and justice for all who should come to us in need.