Chirp chirp chirp

[Actually a bit of a love song (awww), of a different kind. I'm not serious, okay? It's all a joke. I would never harm a live rabbit. Not a LIVE rabbit at least...]
VERSE 1:
I'd say we're nearly clear as crystal, if they weren't all broken.
You've had your Night of the Long Knives.
So now although it's up to you, we two must part,
I hope this parting shot of mine could change our lives.
[Backing vocals]: Listen up.
VERSE 2:
Call me a fool, but not a 'hobo', 'cause that rhymes with nothing,
Except for 'oboe', but that's not a real instrument.
If you'll be Saddam, I'll be Satan, we could be together
for forever 'till we burn out our filament.
[Backing vocals]: It sorta rhymes with instrument.
BRIDGE:
Because we go together just like bread and chocolate,
only if that combination is your thing. [Backing v.]: It's actually really tasty.
If you would let me be the fly inside your ointment,
I'd quite possibly be forced to float around and sing...
PAST THE BRIDGE (haha)/ CHORUS:
I'll be the freezer to your ice-cream, I would save you from the warm.
If you would only be a bee, baby you KNOW I'd be your swarm.
Were you a pimp, I'd be a whore. I'd be your mother earth's Al Gore!
I know that you don't trust me. Please believe me. I'll sing more if you try leave me. Please!
If you need ink, I'll be your Xerox, I would never let you down.
I'd be a watch dog if you need your house sat when you must leave town.
I'd be the cookie to your hunger, the politician to your war-
I'd even kill the last damn flautist and then eat him if that's what you wanted me for...
VERSE 3:
If loving you is such a crazy thing, let me be crazy,
I guess it better than alone.
I know that I've been foolish. Right now we could be together,
If I hadn't gone and bugged your phone.
[Backing v]: That's actually really creepy.
VERSE 4:
Had I not followed you to work since before we were dating,
would you have never slammed your door?
And things like setting you quite literally alight,
I ask myself each night 'what did I do that for?'
[Backing v.]": I think you're right to dump him.
BRIDGE:
If I had bought you jewellery for your last birthday
'stead of nailing a dead rabbit to a tree,
Would you have left me on your speed dial where I put my number,
darling, would you still be loving me? [Backing v.]: You're a crazy f*^ker!
CHORUS:
'Cause I'm the freezer to your ice-cream, i would save you from the warm,
I you'd just try to be a wasp, li'l girl, I'd have to be your swarm,
If you're a pimp, I'm Mandy Moore, I'm Paris, J-Lo and Jude Law! [the implication is that M.Moore, P. Hilton, J.Lopez and J.Law are all, well... you know... (they're not actually, they just can't really act. Sorry if you're offended)]
Please stay with me. I have more reasons to love me through all the seasons...
I'll be the firestorm to your city, I would raise you to the ground. [Backing v.]: Um...
And whilst the fires rage all around us, I would see you safe and sound.
I'd be the 'uke' to your 'seme', even though you're not a guy... [Backing v.]: CREEP!
If you would love me like I love to watch small houses burning, you'd never wonder 'why'!
[Backing v.]: Please never have children.
Repeat the two CHORUSes. The end ^_^.
You can replace 'Uke' and 'seme' with 'catcher' and 'pitcher' if you like. This works in 4/4 time, witht the lyrics spoken quickly (Like in 'Stacey's Mom' rather than in 'You Light up my Life'. Without the speed, there are too many words...).